IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seems important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
These days, it seems that personal wealth and position in society are the only bases on which a person’s merit is judged. Sadly, I think it is true, nowadays in our community the appearance is everything and, unfortunately, the old fashioned values are no longer important. There are several reasons why I agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
, the society where we live is deeply interested in looks; we are “bombarded” with images over and over again which impose us, unconsciously, a model that we have to adhere to.
In other words
, people love following celebrities on social media and dreaming with their money and their material possessions. They are idols to emulate, and it is very sad that people do not want to accept that their “perfect” life, in reality, is not true. To demonstrate how much our life is conditioned from an image, a teacher and her classroom have conducted a survey sending two CVs, exactly the same, but with different pictures of the candidates (one girl which looks very nice and another overweight). The result has been that two out of three times, the nice girl has been called for an interview.
Secondly
, it is noticeable that teens are the most vulnerable part of our community. For them the appearance is everything and, if for any reason someone cannot afford to buy branded clothes or simply does not care about these trivial rules,
then
 he is negatively judged and kicked out of the group. People are judged for worthless things,
such
 as hairstyle, outfit, makeup, model of phone, car, house... In conclusion, I firmly believe that today our community is too influenced by appearance. It is unlikely that
this
 situation will be changed soon but “hope springs eternal”.
Therefore
, we must teach our young generations about old values
such
 as honour, kindness and trust, in order for them to thrive and succeed in the future.
Submitted by irenedemartini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • old-fashioned values
  • honour
  • kindness
  • trust
  • empathy
  • media influence
  • self-worth
  • metrics of success
  • financial achievements
  • community contributions
  • superficial connections
  • emotional bonds
  • life satisfaction
  • stress and anxiety
  • policy changes
  • community programs
  • restoring balance
  • personal character
What to do next:
Look at other essays: