IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. What problem does this cause and what are the solutions?

#people #employment
These days,the
work
 environment has been more competitive among the elderly and the youngest.The most important issue why old
people
 need to
work
 is probably an economical issue.Solutions should be done by the governments and charities.
To begin
,less income force
people
 to make more money.
This
 is not just for young worker and
also
 aged
people
 may be needed to effort
as a result
 of less income.
For instance
,a couple whose age over 60 if they haven't retired yet they need to
work
 as much as other
people
 to pay their expenditures.
In other words
,no matter the age you are it is a matter to have regular adequate income. There are few solutions to solve
this
 issue
such
 as authority should play a role for them by using their economic power or charities can play a role in helping aged
people
 who can not have more energy to
work
.
First
 of all,
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
 should give minimum wages without working.
For example
,in Turkey who is over 65 years old is deserved to get payment from the power that can be enough for them to buy some essential stuff.
Moreover
,charities can collect fund from the
richness
Replace the word
rich
show examples
 and share that property with them.Due to ageing both charity and governments should play an important role in helping aged
people
. In conclusion, poverty force individuals to make money at any age.
This
 problem should be solved by the governments without any hesitation or question.
In other words
,
this
 duty should be solved by the authorities.I believe that one day no elder
people
 will need to
work
 in any workplace
Submitted by cmnr3134 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: