IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in ‎Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. ‎

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in ‎Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. ‎
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The pie charts illustrate the total manufacture of
electricity
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 measured in
group
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groups
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 and ‎divided by different
fuel
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sources
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 in Australia and
France
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 in 1980 and 2000.‎
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly shown that significant
fuel
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sources
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 used in
electricity
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 ‎
production
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 were different in Australia and
France
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. ‎ First of all, there were considerably more
electricity
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units
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 produced in Australia in ‎‎2000 (170
units
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) than in 1980 (100
units
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). The majority of service produced in ‎Australia for both years was from coal, but there was a higher dependency on ‎coal in
electricity
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production
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 in 2000 than in 1980 (130 out of 170 and 50% ‎respectively). There was an increase of 16
units
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 of
electricity
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 produced by ‎hydropower from 1989 to 2008
whereas
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the
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apply
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other
sources
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 like natural gas and oil ‎contributed less to
electricity
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production
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 in 2000 than in 1980.‎ Turning to
France
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's
fuel
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sources
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, it is apparent that
electricity
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production
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 doubled ‎in 2000
than
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in 1980, which was 180 for the former and 90 for the latter. The ‎most striking feature is that only 15 out of 90
units
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 were produced by nuclear ‎power in 1980.
However
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, it became the primary
fuel
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 source of
electricity
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 ‎
production
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 in
France
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 in 2000, 70%. Not forgetting to mention that other
fuel
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 ‎
sources
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 in
electricity
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production
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 became less in 2000 than in 1980.‎

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, fuel, sources, france, units, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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