IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Too much money is spent in maintaining and repairing old buildings, some people think they should be knocked down and give way to modern building. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #people
In today's
world
 of technology and the internet, many people believe that restoring old monuments is just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of money and energy.
Instead
 of maintaining
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 they should be demolished and
one
 should construct
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 property.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 I believe keeping old structure are as important as keeping our history alive.
Firstly
, old buildings are part of
Country's
Correct article usage
the Country's
show examples
 rich heritage and it is vital to keep them for future generations. By way of keeping
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 we can demonstrate how rich our culture is and at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 it holds significant importance as they are
timeless
Add an article
a timeless
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 piece of art.
For instance
 in many parts of India especially in
Add an article
the state
show examples
state
Correct article usage
the state
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 of
Rajasthan
Add a comma
,Rajasthan
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 you can find spectacular forts which are
pleasure
Add an article
a pleasure
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 for
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
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 and
finest
Correct article usage
the finest
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 piece of architecture. With the help of annual repair and maintenance work if those forts can regain their old charm
then
 why shouldn't we keep them?
Secondly
, old structures attract tourist from all over the
world
 which will not only help the economy but
also
 generates employment opportunities to the youth.
For example
,
Taj
Correct article usage
the Taj
show examples
 Mahal
one
 of the seven wonders of the
world
 based out in Agra, India attracts millions of tourist
accross
Correct your spelling
across
 the globe.
This
 not only put India on
world
Add an article
the world
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 map but
also
 help
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 community to flourish. There are many erections which
forms
Change the verb form
form
show examples
 part of the
World
 Heritage site for which organization provide funds to maintain them on yearly basis and if any alteration
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be done to those properties prior approval has to be taken. To conclude
this establishments
Change the determiner
this establishment
these establishments
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 are part of history and national asset which
one
 should be proud of and should not be demolished at any cost.
However
, they should be preserved in their
as is
Add a hyphen
as-is
show examples
state
Add an article
a state
the state
show examples
 so that we can show it to our upcoming generation and they can learn from
those finest architecture
Change the determiner
that finest architecture
show examples
. There are
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 open
space
Change to a plural noun
spaces
show examples
 where
one
 can construct new modern structures
instead
 of breaking old ones.
Submitted by ankitpurohit1987 on

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