IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while other people think that it encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #development #technology #crime
some people believe that advancement in
technology
 will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 in reducing
crime
.
However
,there are others who believe that it supports
crime
.
This
 essay discusses for and against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technology
 in
crime
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
technology
 will assist in minimizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal activities. on the one hand,due to the progress in
technology
,it helped countries in various sectors ,but in terms of cutting
crimes
, it is not effective.Even after installing security cameras in public places,the
crimes
 rate is increasing drastically.Nowadays,cybercrimes are a big issue
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any country.To illustrate,Recently in the county of America ,many
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
 websites have been hacked by hackers and
thus
 challenging nationals integrity.
on the other hand
,
Technology
 plays a vital role in identifying criminals with the help of fingerprints.By using mobiles one can easily call the police if he is being attacked.Terrorist locations can be exactly identified by using global positioning system
technology
 with the help of satellites.Nowadays,
technology
 can be used to prevent
crimes
 before occurring.To illustrate,there are very advance scanners which can detect bombs before it explodes.
Thus
 by helps in reducing
crime
 with various technological features. in conclusion,Though
technology
 can be seen as a positive and negative development,I strongly recommend it can be used in cutting
crimes
 very effectively
Submitted by jrakeshiit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: