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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that parents should limit their children hours of watching tv and playing computer games, but encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree

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Parentage restrictions play a vital role in every child's life. Is it beneficial to restrict them
in
Change preposition
at
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Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 early age? There are those who
claims
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claim
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 that it is fruitful to
Use synonyms
Thier
Correct your spelling
Their
 kids life to restraint from watching TV and playing video games.
However
Linking Words
, opponents disagree with
above
Add an article
the above
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 statement and opine that they should find
other alternative
Change the wording
another alternative
other alternatives
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 as reading
book
Add an article
a book
the book
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 and
also
Linking Words
 motivate them to read
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 regularly.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss which are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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activity is better for them? In
this
Linking Words
 modern era , parents are more
concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about
Use synonyms
Thier
Correct your spelling
Their
 toddlers daily routine work and set up
limit
Add an article
a limit
the limit
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 for them.
For example
Linking Words
, study time , playing video , watching small screen etc. but it has some consequences young children become more aggressive and stubborn
As a result
Linking Words
 they will not concentrate
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
Thier
Correct your spelling
Their
 studies. Nowadays, there are other alternative available
such
Linking Words
 as reading inspiration
story book
Correct your spelling
storybook
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 which is specifically made for little ones.
Use synonyms
Thier
Correct your spelling
Their
This
 nurtures should motivate them for it
instead
Linking Words
 of
spend
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spending
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 much time on
worth
Correct your spelling
worthless
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less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 things.
For instance
Linking Words
, it will help them to
gaining
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gain
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 knowledge
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
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 language, vocabulary , reading, etc.
Moreover
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 , reading
different
Change the article
a different
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 kind of storytelling books help them to learn about other countries traditions and culture and
also
Linking Words
 encourage them to explore new places .they will become
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 responsible and knowledgeable person. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 watching TV and playing stations are
source
Add an article
a source
the source
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 of entertainment for young children, but restricted by their nurtures make them stubborn. So , In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 their guardians should motivate them since
Use synonyms
Thier
Correct your spelling
Their
 childhood so that they will learn the importance of reading books in
Use synonyms
Thier
Correct your spelling
Their
 life.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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