In Some Countries young people are encourage to work for ayear between finishing high school and starting university studies discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

#countries #people #work #ayear #school #university #studies

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Education

Use synonyms

helps to earn a livelihood and fight for basic rights. In some

nations

Add a comma

,nations

show examples

younger people

are motivate

Change the verb form

are motivated

show examples

to work just after finishing their high school

studies

Use synonyms

for

whole

Add an article

a whole

the whole

show examples

year before starting university study. The following paragraphs will discuss

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

show examples

and cons of doing so. On the one hand, there are many major benefits of doing

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

between high school and

Linking Words

third level

Add a hyphen

third-level

show examples

studies

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

at the university level is expensive than

high

Change preposition

in high

show examples

schools,

hence

Linking Words

the younger youth wants to earn or save

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money before start

studies

Use synonyms

. It will be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beneficial

Replace the word

benefit

show examples

for them in the sense of paying tuition fees, living cost, and accommodation so that they only focus on study.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it might be avoiding financial struggle hardships which they face in

part time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

job if they work during their

studies

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if a year gap would be

Change the article

apply

show examples

advantageous

than

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

it has

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

side too which are explained

follows

Change preposition

in follows

show examples

. Surprisingly, many pupils are getting used to working who do not want to return to academic life after 12 months.

Linking Words

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

this

Linking Words

short term view

course

Change the verb form

courses

show examples

them to bypass university

education

Use synonyms

and they will

moving

Change the verb form

move

be moving

show examples

toward lesser paid jobs.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they are deprived of better opportunities which are actually suitable for that, because

lack

Change preposition

of lack

show examples

degree level

Add a hyphen

degree-level

show examples

education

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, a survey by the government in Britain noted that 26% student who takes a one year gap after their high school

studies

Use synonyms

they never enter the tertiary

education

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, it can be said that the most worthy steps for

student

Add an article

a student

the student

show examples

Change the verb form

are

show examples

taking a 12 months gap because it will make them physically and mentally stable in their life. It not only makes them independent but

also

Linking Words

makes

serious

Correct pronoun usage

them serious

show examples

about their

studies

Use synonyms

and they work hard on it.

Submitted by Shaunak Desai on Tue May 25 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Sme people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Some people believe that most of them prefer to spend their lives living close to where they were born for several reasons. This issue has advantages and disadvantages aspects. In this essay, I will shed light on the two sides of living close to where they were born.
6
band
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain how this problem is affecting your work say what you want the shop or company to do
I'm Ravshanova Mushtariy.I am writing in order to complain about a piece of equipment that I purchased from your shop,which I was using for my work at home.
6.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Some individuals believe that teaching a child is something they put effort into enough that they might obtain it. There are concerns about the pros and cons of this message, which might motivate and raise their confidence to overcome hardships, but at the same time, it might create negative pressure and stress. The following essay will be discussed.
4
band
Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this?
It is a common issue that students focus is getting less to studies at school. A large number of students hard to pay attention to studies at present. Technology and old education system are the main causes behind this problems. This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
6
band
Your local TV station is organizing the burial of a ‘time capsule’. Suggestions are being welcomed as to what artefacts should be buried with the capsule to enable future generations to understand more about today’s society. Write an email to the TV station. In your email, suggest at least 3 artefacts, say why they are relevant, and explain why they are also practical suggestions.
I am writing this letter to provide my valuable suggestions in relation to the burial of a ‘time capsule’ that is going to be organized by your famous television station. I really appreciate your idea of burying some useful artifacts of the current generation for posterity.

In Some Countries young people are encourage to work for ayear between finishing high school and starting university studies discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Sme people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this?