Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it cab be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work.

#people #children #work #cab

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Nowadays, people debate has been

on going

Correct your spelling

ongoing

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over whether

children

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doing pad work is more advantageous or other it is detrimental for them.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of paid work and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of working with paid are improving

children

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understanding

the

Change preposition

of the

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value of

money

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and

time

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Firstly

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children

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can make their

time

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use effetely by working

instead

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of wasting

time

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with playing.

As a result

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, they can acknowledge the value of

time

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and it is important to spend beneficially.

Secondly

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, they can know that making

money

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hardship

Correct article usage

a hardship

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and it is easy to spend only.

Thus

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, they will realize how to allocate their

money

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and spend not only in their childhood but

also

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it can bring to their adult future life.

However

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, pad working has some major disadvantages like improvement of overconfident and less concentration on study. If

children

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can earn

money

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via working, it leads them to get confident on everything which they can do.

For example

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, they might think that they can cope with the all problems with

money

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if they can make

money

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. Another point of view is that

children

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may enthuse to get

money

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throughout the

time

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without concentrating on their study.

Therefore

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children

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thinking may lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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negative thinking. To conclude,

although

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pad work can have some negative

effective

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effects

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like independent impact and neglecting their study, it has

extremely

Add an article

an extremely

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positive influence on realization the value of

time

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and

money

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in their life.

Submitted by sandarmyint740 on Tue May 25 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it cab be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, parents prefer to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think that this is a bad idea and would be dangerous. Discuss both view points and give your opinion.

Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion