Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it cab be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work.

Nowadays, people debate has been
on going
Correct your spelling
ongoing
show examples
over whether
children
doing pad work is more advantageous or other it is detrimental for them.
This
essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of paid work and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of working with paid are improving
children
understanding
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
value of
money
and
time
.
Firstly
,
children
can make their
time
use effetely by working
instead
of wasting
time
with playing.
As a result
, they can acknowledge the value of
time
and it is important to spend beneficially.
Secondly
, they can know that making
money
is
hardship
Correct article usage
a hardship
show examples
and it is easy to spend only.
Thus
, they will realize how to allocate their
money
and spend not only in their childhood but
also
it can bring to their adult future life.
However
, pad working has some major disadvantages like improvement of overconfident and less concentration on study. If
children
can earn
money
via working, it leads them to get confident on everything which they can do.
For example
, they might think that they can cope with the all problems with
money
if they can make
money
. Another point of view is that
children
may enthuse to get
money
throughout the
time
without concentrating on their study.
Therefore
,
children
thinking may lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative thinking. To conclude,
although
pad work can have some negative
effective
Replace the word
effects
show examples
like independent impact and neglecting their study, it has
extremely
Add an article
an extremely
show examples
positive influence on realization the value of
time
and
money
in their life.
Submitted by sandarmyint740 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: