Many parents today do not spend much time with their children. Why is this? Does this affect parents or children more?

A large number of
parents
seem to spend little
time
with their offspring nowadays.
This
essay will first discuss the reasons for
this
trend and,
secondly
, it will address the negative impact it has on
children
’s development. The foremost reason that leads to
parents
spending an insufficient amount of
time
with their
children
can be
working
Wrong verb form
the work
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of both
parents
. Being not extremely high, the average worker’s salary often cannot fully satisfy a family’s needs, especially those with more than one child.
That is
why generally both
parents
have to work full-
time
in order to cover
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
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expenses and to provide a quality lifestyle for their
children
.
As a result
, having spent all day at work,
parents
usually have only a few hours a day for quality
time
with their little ones. With
regards
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regard
show examples
to the question of influence, I think
such
tendency
Correct article usage
a tendency
show examples
has
greater
Add an article
a greater
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effect on
children
.
This
is because childhood is an extremely significant period in each person’s life when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental health is actively developing. Psychologists,
consequently
, emphasize that sufficient communication with one’s
children
is the key to correct fostering of their emotional
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
. To illustrate, recent studies have shown that not only did
children
who spent regular quality
time
with their
parents
demonstrate less mood swings, but they
also
had calmer
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
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in
stress
Replace the word
stressful
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situations. In conclusion, I am convinced that were it not for the need to work,
parents
would be able to spend greater amounts of
time
with their kids.
However
, never should they underestimate the importance of
such
activity as it has
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
impact on
children
’s mental development.
Submitted by Nataliia Litovchenko on

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task response
Ensure that all points directly relate to the topic and have a clear connection to the prompt. Expand on the reasons for parents spending less time with their children and address both the parents' and children's perspectives in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, consider restructuring some sentences to enhance the logical flow of ideas and provide clearer connections between paragraphs.

Your opinion

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