Many parents today do not spend much time with their children. Why is this? Does this affect parents or children more?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A large number of
parents
Use synonyms
seem to spend little
time
Use synonyms
with their offspring nowadays.
This
Linking Words
essay will first discuss the reasons for
this
Linking Words
trend and,
secondly
Linking Words
, it will address the negative impact it has on
children
Use synonyms
’s development. The foremost reason that leads to
parents
Use synonyms
spending an insufficient amount of
time
Use synonyms
with their
children
Use synonyms
can be
working
Wrong verb form
the work
show examples
of both
parents
Use synonyms
. Being not extremely high, the average worker’s salary often cannot fully satisfy a family’s needs, especially those with more than one child.
That is
Linking Words
why generally both
parents
Use synonyms
have to work full-
time
Use synonyms
in order to cover
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
show examples
expenses and to provide a quality lifestyle for their
children
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, having spent all day at work,
parents
Use synonyms
usually have only a few hours a day for quality
time
Use synonyms
with their little ones. With
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
to the question of influence, I think
such
Linking Words
tendency
Correct article usage
a tendency
show examples
has
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
effect on
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because childhood is an extremely significant period in each person’s life when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental health is actively developing. Psychologists,
consequently
Linking Words
, emphasize that sufficient communication with one’s
children
Use synonyms
is the key to correct fostering of their emotional
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
. To illustrate, recent studies have shown that not only did
children
Use synonyms
who spent regular quality
time
Use synonyms
with their
parents
Use synonyms
demonstrate less mood swings, but they
also
Linking Words
had calmer
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
in
stress
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
situations. In conclusion, I am convinced that were it not for the need to work,
parents
Use synonyms
would be able to spend greater amounts of
time
Use synonyms
with their kids.
However
Linking Words
, never should they underestimate the importance of
such
Linking Words
activity as it has
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
impact on
children
Use synonyms
’s mental development.
Submitted by Nataliia Litovchenko on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all points directly relate to the topic and have a clear connection to the prompt. Expand on the reasons for parents spending less time with their children and address both the parents' and children's perspectives in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, consider restructuring some sentences to enhance the logical flow of ideas and provide clearer connections between paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: