New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#household #appliances #time #women #work #home #children #mother #works

Technological advancement has made people's life easier, than before. Latest home appliances save a lot of time and are proved to be very convenient to the

women

who, in most cases take care of the household chores. Most

women

utilize

this

free time for working outside which greatly benefits the family financially. In my opinion, The merits prevail over the demerits, even if they have dependent kids at home.

To begin

with, The primary advantage is the income earned by the wife can help

financial

Correct article usage

the financial

show examples

growth of the family

thus

, easing the burden on the husband.

For instance

, in a nuclear family that only has the male going to

work

, the entire family has to

maitain

Correct your spelling

maintain

various restriction monetary wise. The additional salary can help the family for

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

better savings for the future.

Moreover

, higher education

cost

Change the verb form

costs

show examples

a fortune these days, these savings can later be utilized.

On the other hand

, females get an opportunity to showcase their skills and creativity in the business world

thus

, giving equal rights, without any gender discrimination.

Also

, it will help to eradicate the negative old ideology wherein,

women

were restricted to only household

work

and taking care of kids.

For example

, In a country like Saudi Arabia, where

women

were not allowed to

work

or drive, saw

great

Change the article

a great

the great

show examples

number of

harrassment

Correct your spelling

harassment

cases and many

women

seeking refugee shelters abroad.

However

, there are some disadvantages to

this

. It is often argued that, in a family where both the parents

work

, the children suffer

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of guidance and supervision. But,

this

can be managed if the children are enrolled

for

Change preposition

show examples

some extracurricular activities which will help them both mentally and physically. To conclude

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, I personally believe working mothers have more pros than cons in the family as I have

personally

Replace the word

personal

show examples

experience in my own family.

Submitted by roshan.rebello22 on Wed May 26 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, some people suggest that companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think is the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?