The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Sports
and
exercise
are very necessary for everyone life's
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it helps to keep fit. Nowadays
obesity
is the biggest issue in the life of the young generation. In the exotic ,lifestyle people are busy with their own things they have no
time
to encourage their kids to do some
exercise
and join
sports
. The school have to merge the
playtimetime
Correct your spelling
playtime time
and motivate the
children
to perform yoga which is very beneficial for their health and reduce the extra fat in their body. There has a certain solution in my mind I will discuss in the posterior paragraphs. There is numerous kind of predicaments which are very harmful to our youth.
Schools
play a vital role in everyone life.
Thus
,
schools
are surging the play and
exercise
time
so juveniles can spend more
time
in the playground. In the modern era,
obesity
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big issue
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days
children
spend most of the
time
on their phones and playing some games on their laptops, computer or tablets which is very harmful because physical activities have helped to keep fit and healthy.
For instance
, 80% of students after school going to extra classes have no
time
to do some
exercise
if the
schools
are merging their
playtimetime
Correct your spelling
playtime time
then
they have definitely attended the class which is best for their body. There are certain solutions
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
mitigate the
obesity
impediments.
Firstly
parents should motivate their
children
to take in curricular activities which is enhance their knowledge and keep them fit. Guardians should spend
time
with their kith and keen and take part with them in games or other social activities.
Secondly
,
schools
should organise camps and
sports
day once a month so juvenile take part in that competition to boost up their energy with the help of games.
Schools
should motivate the
children
to take part in the competition and perform some
sports
at the international level. Always find the interest of
children
if they are interested in the
sports
so encourage them do not put pressure for studies. To conclude,
children
are the future of every nation. There are some solutions to resolve the
obesity
problem. There are joint efforts by parents and
schools
to mitigates
this
impediment.
Submitted by varinder on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • physical education
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • nutrition education
  • healthy eating habits
  • balanced meals
  • junk food
  • parental involvement
  • community initiatives
  • fitness programs
  • government policies
  • subsidies
  • multi-dimensional approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: