‏in many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#‏in #countries #men #women #work #time #people #household #e #g #children

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In many countries today, both

men

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and

women

Use synonyms

need to work

full-timetime

Correct your spelling

full-time time

full-time-time

Therefore

Linking Words

, some people think

men

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and

women

Use synonyms

should share

household

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tasks

Use synonyms

equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? In recent times

household

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tasks

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have increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether

parents

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should share

household

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tasks

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, or whether it is the

women

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's responsibility.

This

Linking Words

essay will outline the benefits of helping each other in-home activities. Working with both males and females together has a vital role in social life. It promotes a sense of collaboration between

parents

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which can lead to empathy.

For example

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, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that 90% of

parents

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live happier lives than those who depend only on

women

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Furthermore

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, helping each other with

household

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tasks

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may open doors to exploring a new experience. If the

men

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try to cook food, potentially they will be empowered to cook various types of food.

Thus

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, they could learn and gain experience from each other.

In addition

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parents

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can learn to become independent people.

this

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may help them when they travel abroad.

For instance

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, my friend Fatma her husband always helps her and now he is self-reliant as he can clean and wash clothes when he travels abroad.

Moreover

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, the benefits of helping each other are not only limited to

household

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tasks

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but

also

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have a big impact on saving time.

Men

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and

women

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would often finish their work early and without effort. To illustrate, my sister has enough time to visit her relatives and shopping

due to

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her husband's help. So,

this

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can make the family more relaxed. In conclusion, boosting self-esteem, gaining many skills , being independent people and saving time are all the benefits of sharing

household

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tasks

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Therefore

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, the idea of depending only on

women

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should be stopped. Both males and females should have a balanced life.

Submitted by 13570581 on Thu Sep 19 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your points are thoroughly supported with precise examples and avoid generalized statements.

coherence cohesion

Reframe the introduction to have a clearer thesis statement of the extent to which you agree or disagree from the beginning.

coherence cohesion

Work on varied sentence structure to enhance the readability of your essay. Combine shorter sentences for better flow and clarity.

coherence cohesion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly states and summarizes the main points of the essay.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the argument, making the ideas more concrete and relatable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

316 words

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‏in many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The percentage of overweight children in westrn society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.

To what extent do you agree that the men and women should do the same job as each other.