IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 technological era, the world is becoming smaller with the rise in connectivity devices. The convenience of online meetings and collaboration via broadband is motivating people to
work
Use synonyms
 from home.
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Although
Correct word choice
However
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, some people believe that
this
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is benefitting
Wrong verb form
benefits
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 the employer more than the
employee
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will highlight my agreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
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 aforementioned phenomenon with crucial pointers. On the one hand, every business based on a physical infrastructure requires a daily operating budget. Encouragement in
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 from home facilitates employers to save on the day-to-day operation cost.
Subsequently
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, these savings are profits to expand the business by increasing the
employee
Use synonyms
 base or increasing marketing budgets. To illustrate
this
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, during the lockdown marketing budget on the digital platform was
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 as compared to the previous financial year.
Moreover
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, employers force a complete utilization of travel and lunch hours without spending extra from their pocket.
On the contrary
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, technology demands more working hours as
a
Correct article usage
the
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 physical connection among the team is low. To cope with the
work
Use synonyms
 pressure, employees are spending more time in front of their
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 and failing in
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.
This
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 practice is not only hampering their family lives but
also
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 their physical and mental health.
For instance
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, ailments like spondylitis and cervical are now common
due to
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 prolonged sitting.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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 no performance tracking system in place, hardworking
employee
Use synonyms
's feedback can be misinterpreted in the bonus allocation.
To conclude
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, technology is introducing new methods of
work
Use synonyms
 culture.
This
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 may give an extra edge to
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and reduce their infrastructure operational cost.
However
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, a clear bifurcation between
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 and home will create an adequate balance for the
employee
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but can be improved by being more clear and summarized. The essay lacks a clear roadmap of the main ideas that will be discussed. You should aim for a more balanced and organized structure with clear topic sentences and supporting details for each paragraph.
task achievement
The response is complete and relevant, with clear ideas and appropriate examples to support the main points. However, the essay could benefit from offering a more direct answer to the question and providing a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • employee productivity
  • cost savings
  • talent pool
  • geographical limitations
  • monitoring productivity
  • company culture
  • employee satisfaction
  • turnover rates
  • communication challenges
  • collaboration
  • efficiency
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
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