IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Q3. Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#q #people #inventions #phones
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It is a contentious debate
that
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whether advancement in technology is leading to poor socialization or not among
people
. I firmly believe the usage of cell phones are causing
people
 to waste
of
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their time and isolated life which are the key drawbacks of
this
 creativity.
First
 and
the
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foremost, there is a lot of wastage of time using these gadgets. One can spend hours while surfing over various websites
such
 as Youtube, Instagram, Facebook and other gaming application.
In addition
, if
people
 do not manage their time using mobile phones for work or study, their efficiency might be affected. Due to which students can get lower grades in their studies, as well as the working
people
, the working
people
 may reduce their productivity.
For example
, in the University ,survey it is shown that 80% of smartphone users invest 5 to 6 hours on average over the internet per day.
However
, most of the
people
 using advanced technology, are insulated themselves in their room and house. The reason behind
this
 fact is that they are utilizing
of
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new communication applications like Skype, WhatsApp and electronic emails for sharing information
instead
 of a physical meeting. In
this
 ,way
people
 get less interaction with their colleagues and friends but
also
 get the reduction in relationships bonding.
Submitted by Arun Saini on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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