IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the modern technology has made shopping easier today, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology
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Shopping is a great pastime for many, irrespective of its mode. Some prefer shopping online, while others are comfortable in
conventional
Add an article
the conventional
a conventional
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way
Use synonyms
 of buying. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both views and explain why I am inclined towards shopping from home. In
Pre-internet
Correct article usage
the Pre-internet
show examples
 era, buyers preferred going to
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
 for buying things they needed. Some people still prefer shopping
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 because they can check the quality of the
product
Use synonyms
 themselves and pick them up right at that moment. Certainly, going to
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
show examples
 and thorough scanning before purchasing vegetable or groceries,
for instance
Linking Words
, eliminate the probability of ending up with rotten or damaged ones. Shoppers who opt for
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
a traditional
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way
Use synonyms
 of shopping
instead
Linking Words
 of online
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 had an added advantage of receiving the best
product
Use synonyms
 in no time as there is no dependency on delivery services.
Although
Linking Words
, the undeniable merits of purchasing directly from
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
 influence a number of buyers, another group prefers shopping online. Since the emergence of technology and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, ways of shopping have been through revolutionary changes. Various platforms have been evolved, where one can search for their required
product
Use synonyms
 and choose from a wide range of variety. Sites like Amazon, Flipkart, and
Ebay
Correct your spelling
eBay
 are there, which evidently has made our lives easier by providing us
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to select our preferred material at a fingertip away.
This
Linking Words
 has eliminated the
ques
Correct your spelling
queues
show examples
 at the check-out counters, which saves time as well. No wonder, online purchasing has been so widely accepted all over the globe. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 the advantages of shopping online
supersedes
Change the verb form
supersede
show examples
 the demerits of physical buying. Most of the times the marketing sites provides high discounts which
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 the
product
Use synonyms
 cheaper than the max retail price. Along with
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 the return and refund policies give a customer the opportunity to get rid of the damaged
product
Use synonyms
 or replace it. Because of the aforementioned factors I personally prefer online shopping more than the conventional
way
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there will always be people who are comfortable
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going to
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
 to buy anything and
that is
Linking Words
 not totally illogical. Technology,
however
Linking Words
, has brought changes that make life easier, which is why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 like
many
Add a comma
,many
show examples
 I vote for purchasing at a click.
Submitted by eshwar10882 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
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