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Writing Samples
Band 8

Practice 2: Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#practice #people #government #money #care #education
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In
this
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 day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on whether
government
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 investment should be allocated for SUPPORTING the LIVES of the old generationS or should be spent on developing youngsters’
education
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.
Although
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 the former view can be true to SOME extent, in my opinion, the latter view is more reasonable. On the one hand, there are several culprits that lead people to believe that looking after the elderly needs to be taken into consideration.
First
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 of all, despite the fact that medical services for the old can cost a huge amount of money, it is crucial for the state to help them overcome difficulties. In fact, people aged 55 years old and over can no longer work or do heavy tasks as their health and immune
system
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 are weaker and weaker, which can put them at risk of serious diseases
such
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 as high blood pressure, cancer and diabetes. Because they cannot go to work, they have no income and must live depending on
government
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 incentives.
Additionally
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, there is no doubt that senior citizens used to make significant contributions to society in the past, and they
also
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 have been fulfilling civic duties like others.
Thus
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, administrators take responsibility for taking care of old citizens.
On the other hand
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, I am more convinced that the
education
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system
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 for the young generationS should be invested more from
government
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 funding because of many reasons. One of them is that youngsters are considered as the key future workforce which serveS the country. If they have great opportunities to get access to a good
education
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system
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 from an early age, they will play a leading role in enhancing the country’s development.
In particular
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, when they grow up with a comprehensive upbringing, they get good jobs, which can create cash flow into the economical field and increase the GDP index of
this
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 country.
Furthermore
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, it exerts beneficial impacts on reducing the crime rate. As mentioned above, children have chances to approach
education
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 as soon as possible, they can form positive perspectives and can be aware of bad behaviours so that children avoid getting involved in illegal activities.
Consequently
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, the more well-educated citizens, the more civilized society. In conclusion,
although
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 it is undeniable that caring for old people needs to be taken into account, I still strongly support the view that
government
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 expenditure should be invested in the
education
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system
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 for the young in order to make the country better.
Submitted by Uyen Dinh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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