IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

3. Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world. Others feel that these organisations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based. Discuss both sides and give your own view.

#people #charities #matter #world #organisations #country
In today's globalisation, a highly controversial issue relates that many argue to give help needy
people
 globally, while others believe that
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 own
country
 poor
people
 need the funding
money
 for
fulfulling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
 their basic needs. In
this
 essay, I am going to examine
this
 question from both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of view and
then
 explain why I prefer every one of us should help their own
country
 poor
members
 and give a manifold justification.
Firstly
, many individuals nature is to help the poor needy
people
 throughout the world without any
descrimination
Correct your spelling
discrimination
.
As
Correct your spelling
Is
show examples
 there intention is to spend their
money
 on helpless
people
 who are struggling in their lives and trying
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 best to make them happy and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their fundamental needs.
For example
, my
aunty
Correct your spelling
aunt
show examples
 lives in Australia as her nature is helping he spend her 25% salary in Human Appeal Trust company who works and hand over the amount given by society who concern for poor
people
 all over the world, which is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 sign for humanity. On other hand, others tend to feel that their charity fund should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 in their own
country
 poor fellow
members
. Because they want
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
country
 should be developed by getting rid of poverty from the
members
 who are financially weak.
However
, they want their
country
 should be rich in all aspects by helping their own needy
people
. To illustrate, My friend always
concern
Change the verb form
concerns
show examples
 about their nation poor families so, she
save
Change the verb form
saves
show examples
 her salary some amount of
money
 and
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity to their own
country
 poor
members
 as they could get some help
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to survive. In conclusion, I would like to state that both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of views
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own merits. But personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 always give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significance to our
country
 poor
people
 who have the rights to take our charity
money
 for their
surviving
Replace the word
survival
show examples
 as we all belong
one
Change preposition
to one
show examples
 nation.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: