An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

#children #food #drinks #nutrition #diet #rise #obesity #steps

Nowadays youngsters are more addicted

towards

Change preposition

show examples

junk foods & carbonated drinks. Which has led to

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of overweight.

This

essay will deal with the main factor of excessive body fat & some feasible solution. Unhealthy

food

will lead to serious health problem. In

this

fast life both the parents are working & they do not have time to cook

hygenic

Correct your spelling

hygienic

Hygenic

foods so they often buy

food

from outside. Restaurants sell tasty

food

which

contain

Change the verb form

contains

show examples

unhealthy ingredients.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

children

do not give time for outdoor activities. They are engaged in seeing television, playing games etc. because of that

children

become

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

over weight

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

This

effects

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

health problem

such

as heart disease, high blood pressure, fatigue etc. Primary care provider. Parents should take

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

step by providing homemade healthy foods. So that they will get proteins, minerals, vitamins to their bodies. Parents & teachers should encourage their

children

to do exercises, yoga etc. In the

family

Add a comma

,family

show examples

they should follow fix

time table

Correct your spelling

timetable

show examples

for eating

food

. So, it will help them to maintain their body. To conclude it is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

evident

Replace the word

evidence

show examples

that obesity causes several problems among

children

. So, to reduce that

children

should maintain balanced diet & society should take prevention to deteriorate

this

problem

further

Submitted by sweety.moni007 on Thu May 27 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

203 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Gone are those days when the government was able to control the unbridled increasing demand for gasoline and oil with the presently available resources within urban areas. These days, it becomes a necessity to start exploring new oil and gas resources in rural and unexplored regions as the merits of this approach undoubtedly outnumber the demerits.
<4
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
science plays a vital role in today's lives. the life of an individual can be improved with technique which is a crucial aim of art. I totally agree with given statement. In above essay, i will decide the points in with examples adn a conclusion.
8
band
Today there is a great increase in antisocial personal behaviour such as committing a crime. What are the causes of this? Who should be responsible for this problem
It is true that there is a huge rise in the number of antisocial personal behaviour, often resulting in committing a crime. There are various reasons why this happens, but the government, community and family can take steps to address this issue.
7
band
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governaments to make it a legal requirement To what extend do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?
The importance of recycling garbage was debatable but now become a controversial issue with some individuals claiming that the high authorities should impose strict laws regarding recycling. I quibble with them and profound that it is not only the duty of the government to save our environment but everyone should take appropriate measures to recycle waste in order to protect our earth. In this essay, both party' views regarding the aforementioned argument will be elaborated on along with examples which will lead to a logical conclusion.
6
band
Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.
In some parts of the world, food is still highly valued. In urban areas, however, particularly in the developed world, food waste is becoming a major concern. This essay will examine the causes of this problem and suggest ways that people can curb the amount that they discard.

An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

Fully explain your ideas

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today there is a great increase in antisocial personal behaviour such as committing a crime. What are the causes of this? Who should be responsible for this problem

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from home is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governaments to make it a legal requirement To what extend do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.