IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Stress related health issues. problems and solution

#stress #health
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days the rate of people becoming sick because of
stress
Use synonyms
 has been increasing.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will discuss the main causes of
Use synonyms
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 to health issue including the family
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their children and
job
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
 in adult.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 suggest solutions to these problems including improving working life and decrease
stress
Use synonyms
 on children. People are working more hours than ever before.
In addition
Linking Words
, they suffer from
work
Use synonyms
pressure
Use synonyms
. Parents pushing their children to become better but sometimes it goes beyond
limit
Correct article usage
the limit
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Work
Add an article
The work
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 is being more competitive
therefore
Linking Words
, maintaining a
job
Use synonyms
 is getting harder over time. Parents think by forcing their child to do better and punishing them due to small mistake is a good way to raise them.
For example
Linking Words
, companies force freshly graduated employee to
work
Use synonyms
 double hours to improve themselves.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some parent has strict rules. these often leads to mental and physical suffering because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
job
Use synonyms
 pressuring and family
pressure
Use synonyms
 can be stressful. The
work
Use synonyms
environment
Use synonyms
 should be healthy and peaceful due to that, is important to leave a place if you feel
uncomfertable
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
. Father and mother should know that it is okay to do mistakes sometimes actually the only way to walk are to fall a few time, they should always accept their child and never stop showing their love.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research showed that kids who feel that their parent is giving them the trust they deserve are less to have
Use synonyms
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
 disease.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in order to reduce
stress
Use synonyms
 illnesses employee should improve the
work
Use synonyms
environment
Use synonyms
 and parent should learn how to love their child. In conclusion,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today people becoming more and more ill
as a result
Linking Words
 of
stress
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
 discussed why
stress
Use synonyms
-
illneses
Correct your spelling
illnesses
illness
 are increasing in the
job
Use synonyms
 and family
pressure
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 suggested that improving the
work
Use synonyms
environment
Use synonyms
 and spread
loving
Replace the word
love
show examples
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable solutions.
Submitted by khlood.11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress
  • health issues
  • pressure
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • fatigue
  • insomnia
  • headaches
  • digestive problems
  • immune system
  • chronic diseases
  • prevent
  • manage
  • balance
  • self-care
  • relaxation techniques
  • meditation
  • deep breathing
  • exercise
  • seek professional help
What to do next:
Look at other essays: