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Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #idea #career #fashion #careers #money #education #life #support #arguments #evidence
It cannot be denied that in the present
times
Change to a genitive case
time's
times'
show examples
 money is the most important asset for everyone in
this
 world. It is indeed becoming smart to choose more than one career for oneself considering how the trends are changing fast. A lot of
people
 have started building multiple careers for
themsleves
Correct your spelling
themselves
 already. Possible reasons for
this
 have been discussed
further
. To start with, it is very crucial these days to have an ongoing source of money that will never perish. Considering how fast the industries change in their requirements, mastering or clinging to one career may be very detrimental in a negative way.
For example
, when I was a small kid my father was a builder. He was involved in construction heavily,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 when I grew up I saw my father had switched to supply of building materials (sand, greet, bricks and other
such
 materials). I realized only recently that my father was
also
 carrying construction and building
business
Add an article
a business
show examples
 on the side by partnering with other
people
.
This
 evidently shows how a
person
 has to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the change and stay
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 the mark.
Moreover
,
people
 with more than one area of expertise are sought by businesses and industries as they have to employ
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
 for different kinds of work. To illustrate, a
person
 is an IT professional and he has
also
 done a certified course in accountancy, it would be beneficial for a company to hire that
person
 for both kinds of work and
also
 for the
person
 as he will be recognised different from the crowd and paid
accordingly
.
In addition
 to that, a lot of times
people
 have to choose a career just because it has more money rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 choosing what they like.
For instance
,
initially
 in India writers, painters and
such
people
 were not recognised and not paid much so families often used to force their young ones to opt for engineering or medicine. But now the scenario has changed, so a
well established
Add a hyphen
well-established
show examples
 doctor can
also
 maintain a blog of stories or
peoms
Correct your spelling
poems
 for his or her personal comfort.
This
 would
also
 enhance a
person
's working abilities as he or she gets to do
do
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
what they want as well as work for their
familiy's
Correct your spelling
family's
 needs. In the light of
above
Add an article
the above
show examples
 discussion, it is evident that in future it will be a trendsetter to have multiple careers and behold multiple educational qualifications as
this
 will enhance personal and professional value in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by karampalvirk21 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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