IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #products #economy #society
These days several states motivate the population to expend more and more
money
 for consuming some
products
, which has a positive effect on the state’s economy.
Besides
, some people believe that behaviour affects society negatively. In my opinion, spending capital for buying goods is crucial for an economy but excessive consumption
also
 harms society.
Firstly
, for improving the live standard of inhabitants of one country, it is necessary to increase its GDP.
Therefore
, one possibility is to encourage the inhabitants of a state to spend more
money
 on buying new
products
 and heighten their consumption behaviour.
Consequently
, the shop owner, producer of commodities etc. would generate a higher more payment, which they could
also
 spend on paying a higher salary to its employees and improving the working atmosphere by making the workplace safer and more modern.
Furthermore
, the country would take more taxes, which
thus
 could be invested in improving the infrastructure, building and modernising educational institutions etc.
On the other hand
,
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
excessive consumption of items lowers the
money
-saving rate, which can lead to people not having saved enough
money
 in old age and falling into old-age poverty.
Besides
, it rises
products
 prices considerably and,
as a result
, many people would not be able to afford plenty of
products
.
In addition
, it
also
 leads to higher production of waste by every household, which damages the environment tremendously. In conclusion, expending capital on buying more and more commodities might have a positive effect on peoples lives but as long as consumerism does not become too excessive, and everyone spends the
money
 only on consumer items.
Submitted by dietrich.silber on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: