IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

some people believe that technology has man-made more social do you agree or disagree

#people #technology
The modern
time
 has witnessed remarkable progress in the field of technology. In the current
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 there are
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innumerous
Replace the word
numerous
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to
communiceite
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
. but few
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
show examples
 thinks it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 human beings more
interectable
Correct your spelling
intractable
interactable
 to each
othes
Correct your spelling
other
others
. I completely disagree with the statement on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
behalf of several reasons that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss in the following paragraphs.
Although
, Innovation
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
provides us
greater
Change preposition
with greater
show examples
 opportunities to connect
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 world virtually but
also
 makes
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
 with the
people
 around us
worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
 because
In
Add the comma(s)
, In
show examples
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 trend,
youngers
Correct your spelling
young people
show examples
 spend most
time
 on Social media to increase likes and followers. They do not care about what is happening in their surroundings. A recent study
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
showed
has shown
show examples
 that billions of a nation have joined social media
life
 and spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
 clicking
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
show examples
, making videos, watching movies and many more things.
Even they
Rephrase
They
show examples
 do not know who is residing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
next door of their living.
Moreover
,
people
 spend most of
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
time
 at home,they prefer to do work from home because of
this
, they
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to socialize with their
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, they know them
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
over the phone or
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over conferences.
due to
this
,
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 cannot able to trust
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 easily.
Besides
this
,
Correct article usage
the incresing
show examples
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 number of cyber
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
also
 put
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in danger. Through fake
identities
Add a comma
identities,
show examples
 hackers convince
people
 to share their personal information after that they misuse it. In conclusion, advancement in technology makes our
life
 better,but it fails to make
life
 more
socialable
Correct your spelling
sociable
. The government and authorities should
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 a program that
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
show examples
 interactable
life
.
Submitted by mamtamahey1996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!