In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members

In many countries, it is commonly the aged generation be taken into aged-care homes. It is believed that family

members

should invariably treat them,

however

, I strongly against the belief being inappropriate if

elderlies

live in retirement homes. Because it would be unfair for both children and old ones if they have been attached always together. To commence with, family

members

have their own life and sometimes they are enforced to work overtime to meet their requirements. So, how do they could always treat their

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

members

? Not to mention, a number of

elderlies

are involving with physical and mental ailments,

for example

, heart attack, Alzheimer, etc. are being prescribed through pills.

As a result

, they certainly need to treat by a nurse. For them, a retirement home would be the best where nursing is appropriate and coming up with other

members

is joyful. Making friend, chatting and eating around one table help them to feel convenient and satisfied.

However

, meanwhile, some argue that it is unjustified for

elderlies

to live in

such

places because they are a part of our memory and life and should look up to. Family

members

, though, cure for them providing phone, they could call as long as homesickness,

for instance

. And

thus

, children can pick them up home for a while, or they may plan to catch them up on weekends gathering and having nice moments. As a consequence, both have their own privacy, at the same time, a sense of satisfaction. In conclusion, I reaffirm my disagreement regarding the notion; since being in retirement homes is not good for

elderlies

, they should always be remedied by families. I do think the old generation needs nursing, having a connection with others and an aged-care home is suitable, at the same time, there is a family which need to have calmness supplying to

elderlies

Submitted by roosta6787 on Sat May 29 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The popularity of online education has grown significantly in recent years. Do you think this is positive or negative development?
Over the last few years, the popularity of online learning has increased prevalence. While there are some advantages of this online education, I believe the negatives should also be taken into account.
7
band
Some environmentalists have advocated building wildlife sanctuaries to protect endangered species. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of doing this.
Some environmental experts have supported the construction of conservation areas to protect animals from the hazard of extinction. Whether sanctuaries are harmful or beneficial will be explored in the following paragraphs.
6
band
Write about the following topic: Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Nowadays the great majority of people tend to live without children at a young age, though it may lead our society to bad consequences. Although the last opinion can be right in some cases, I would say that the decision to have kids later is better.
6.5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people; however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
No one can deny that economic progress contributes a lot to a country, helping citizens increase income and also promoting developing countries. I always hold the notion that a good government is a government visionary because the development of a city not only depends on economics but also has other elements. Therefore, I would have to say that economics is not only the most important goal, there are many other goals as well.
6.5
band
The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people tend to change their job often or making them qualified for their higher position due to a salary because of that it is undeniable that money is one of the most essential things in our life, everyone works for their salary to spend it for their happiness or their needs, even their job is not satisfied with them. The following paragraph will be discussing my agreement with this statement. Therefore, the conclusion has been reached.

In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The popularity of online education has grown significantly in recent years. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

Some environmentalists have advocated building wildlife sanctuaries to protect endangered species. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of doing this.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people; however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree?