IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#nation’s #population #healthcare #provision #future
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Extreme development in healthcare due to globalisation make
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
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 to cure severe diseases with ease.
This
Linking Words
 advancement has
improve
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improved
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 the life expectancy ratio due to which old citizens have increased in numbers result
of
Change preposition
in
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 which is
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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cost
Use synonyms
 of public healthcare for every economy. While some argue that residence should pay
Use synonyms
cost
Add an article
the cost
a cost
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 for
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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health
Use synonyms
, others propose
this
Linking Words
cost
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 to be borne by
government
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the government
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. The analysis contained in the following paragraphs
support
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supports
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 the
first
Linking Words
 notion on
ground
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the ground
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 of overcrowding of municipal hospitals and constrained equipment after throwing light on both views. To commence with, government hospitals have limited resources in terms of doctors, nurses, medical supplies etc.
Linking Words
This
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These
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 medical facilities are not sufficient for all public who in event of free medical, will visit hospitals even for small
health
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 issues like fever and cough.
Linking Words
Moreover
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,Moreover
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 doctors will be occupied with these patients due to which cannot divert attention to more
life threatening
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life-threatening
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 diseases suffered by other nationals. Costless healthcare will induce people to indulge more in
fast-food
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fast food
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, alcohols and smoking. To elucidate, People will stop paying attention
on
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to
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 healthy lifestyle and diet
in
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is
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thought
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the thought
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 of getting free service
by
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from
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doctor
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a doctor
the doctor
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 if something happened to them.
Evidently
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,Evidently
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 medical
cost
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 will keep building up for
country
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the country
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, paying
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cost
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the cost
a cost
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 for own
health
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 will not only increase awareness for
health
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 but
also
Linking Words
 provide
sense
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a sense
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 of responsibility.
This
Linking Words
 results in
lesser
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a lesser
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 burden on constrained resources. Physical well public
contribute
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contributes
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 more to
economy
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the economy
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 by improving efficiency and reducing
cost
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 for
government
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the government
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. By and large, the
above supported
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above-supported
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 approach to eliminate free medical services present the best choice considering its multifold advantages associated with
Use synonyms
cost
Add an article
the cost
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 to
nation
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the nation
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 and healthy eating.
Submitted by patelmili80 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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