IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

#countries #food #outweigh
Many today are of the belief that the ubiquity of fast
food
 provides enough enjoyment and economic positives to outweigh its impact on public health. In my opinion, the disadvantages related to health make
this
 a negative development. Those supporting the fast
food
 industry typically point to the pleasure consumers derive and the employment it provides. There is little to argue about in terms of enjoyment. Fast
food
 is affordable and tastes good. That explains its popularity and makes it accessible for people from even the lowest socioeconomic backgrounds.
Moreover
, there are obvious economic benefits. Companies like McDonald’s, Burger King, Baskin Robbins, and Domino’s Pizza are some of the largest employers globally. Their economic contributions extend beyond providing poorly paid jobs as they are taxed and thereby strengthen the federal budgets of both developing and developed nations.
Nonetheless
, fast
food
 has a huge impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the health sector. Most tangibly,
this
 concerns
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
obesity. Studies have shown that obesity rates soar in countries where fast
food
 has become entrenched in the local market. The
best known
Add a hyphen
best-known
show examples
 example of
this
 is in the United States, where obesity is reaching epidemic proportions. Related and often symptomatic drawbacks include cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure. Foods high in fat, sugar, and overprocessed ingredients have been proven to exacerbate these conditions, with heart disease now the single greatest cause of death around the world.
This
 cannot be blamed entirely on fast
food
 but there are very few healthy options on most fast
food
 menus and the majority of companies specialise in quintessentially unhealthy foods like
deep fried
Add a hyphen
deep-fried
show examples
 chicken, cheeseburgers, pizzas, and tacos. In conclusion, despite the boons for enjoyment and the economy, fast
food
 is a negative
taken
Replace the word
take
show examples
 as a whole given its impact on well-being. It is
therefore
 important to regulate fast
food
 companies to curb their influence.
Submitted by srikanth923 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: