Some people think subjects taught in school are a waste of time, while others ‎disagree and believe that it is helpful for students. Discuss both views, and give ‎your own opinion.

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One of the highly controversial topics today relates to whether
art
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is a crucial
subject
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for schoolchildren or not. In
this
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essay, I am going to shed some light on
this
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question from both points of view and
then
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give my own opinion on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that the benefits of
art
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as an academic
subject
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considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing
this
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is that
art
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is the translation of the imagination of an individual on paper;
thus
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,
art
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aids
students
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in broadening their thinking. It is
also
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possible to say that
art
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acts as a medium for shy pupils to express their emotions directly. One good illustration of
this
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is that children express their love and emotions for their parents by creating a birthday card using their creativity, provided they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
learned
this
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art
Use synonyms
at the school level.
Therefore
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, it is easy to see why
this
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argument has gained support.
On the other hand
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, people often argue that
art
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is just a waste of time. People often have
this
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opinion because
students
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are already burdened with other academic subjects;
thus
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adding
art
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subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
will enhance that study load.
Additionally
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, nowadays there are no job prospects for
students
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in
art
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;
consequently
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, they opt for other vocational subjects. To exemplify,
students
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choose either the science or commerce stream, which has jobs available in abundance.
Hence
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, it goes without saying that
this
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viewpoint is credible and realistic. In my opinion, both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that
art
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should be an optional
subject
Use synonyms
keeping in mind that the job prospect of
students
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is of utmost importance.
Submitted by arash.dejkameh on

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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, providing clear and comprehensive ideas. However, ensure that your examples and explanations are more relevant to the topic to further strengthen your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that your examples and explanations are closely linked to your arguments to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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