IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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In the global world, community have their own choices regarding food. Some population like to eat non-vegetarian food and others choose to eat a vegetarian meal. I personally believe that
people
Use synonyms
 can get all the nutrients from vegetables, fruits, milk and so on.
a
Capitalize word
A
show examples
 vegetarian meal is beneficial for an individual and the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the aforementioned views in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 are aware of their eating habits.
People
Use synonyms
 are becoming more choosy for their
appetite
Fix the agreement mistake
appetites
show examples
. They want to remain in shape. A person who consumes
meat
Use synonyms
 or fish is suffering from obesity, high cholesterol and heart blockage.
People
Use synonyms
 across many countries avoid eating
meat
Use synonyms
 and fish. They add more vegetables and fruits to their diet.
For instance
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, In a survey, It is found that 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 are turning to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vegan diet. The reason was their obesity and a heart blockage problem.
In addition
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,
people
Use synonyms
 kill animals to eat their
meat
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. So, when a community is avoiding eating
meat
Use synonyms
 and fish, it will be positive effects on animal's life.
Moreover
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, eating
meat
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 prohibited in some religions.
For instance
Linking Words
, In the Hindu religion,
people
Use synonyms
 worship the
cow
Use synonyms
. They consider the
cow
Use synonyms
 as a goddess. They feed grass to a
cow
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 and take milk from a
cow
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. So, killing a
cow
Use synonyms
 is totally against their religion.
To conclude
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, In my personal view, non-vegetarian bread generates disease in a person. An individual can take all the nutrients from a vegetarian snack. With
this
Linking Words
, animals
also
Linking Words
 save when a person
eat
Correct subject-verb agreement
eats
show examples
 vegetarian food.

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Task Achievement
Provide a clear stance on the issue in the introduction and maintain a consistent view throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas in a more logical sequence and ensure each paragraph connects to the main topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Plant-based diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Deforestation
  • Water consumption
  • Mitigate climate change
  • Natural resources
  • Animal welfare
  • Humane and ethical choice
  • Healthcare costs
  • Sustainable farming
  • Legumes
  • Fruits and vegetables
  • Vegetarian
  • Vegan
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