IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #meat #fish #health #world
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In the global world, community have their own choices regarding food. Some population like to eat non-vegetarian food and others choose to eat a vegetarian meal. I personally believe that
people
Use synonyms
 can get all the nutrients from vegetables, fruits, milk and so on.
a
Capitalize word
A
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 vegetarian meal is beneficial for an individual and the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the aforementioned views in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, Nowadays
people
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 are aware of their eating habits.
People
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 are becoming more choosy for their
appetite
Fix the agreement mistake
appetites
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. They want to remain in shape. A person who consumes
meat
Use synonyms
 or fish is suffering from obesity, high cholesterol and heart blockage.
People
Use synonyms
 across many countries avoid eating
meat
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 and fish. They add more vegetables and fruits to their diet.
For instance
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, In a survey, It is found that 30% of
people
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 are turning to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vegan diet. The reason was their obesity and a heart blockage problem.
In addition
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,
people
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 kill animals to eat their
meat
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. So, when a community is avoiding eating
meat
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 and fish, it will be positive effects on animal's life.
Moreover
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, eating
meat
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 is
also
Linking Words
 prohibited in some religions.
For instance
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, In the Hindu religion,
people
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 worship the
cow
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. They consider the
cow
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 as a goddess. They feed grass to a
cow
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 and take milk from a
cow
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. So, killing a
cow
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 is totally against their religion.
To conclude
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, In my personal view, non-vegetarian bread generates disease in a person. An individual can take all the nutrients from a vegetarian snack. With
this
Linking Words
, animals
also
Linking Words
 save when a person
eat
Correct subject-verb agreement
eats
show examples
 vegetarian food.
Submitted by Rajwinder Kaur on

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Task Achievement
Provide a clear stance on the issue in the introduction and maintain a consistent view throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas in a more logical sequence and ensure each paragraph connects to the main topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Plant-based diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Deforestation
  • Water consumption
  • Mitigate climate change
  • Natural resources
  • Animal welfare
  • Humane and ethical choice
  • Healthcare costs
  • Sustainable farming
  • Legumes
  • Fruits and vegetables
  • Vegetarian
  • Vegan
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