Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behavior #results

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Probably in the

recent

Correct word choice

past

show examples

15 years, you might sense that more and more people around you

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

started to invest in their

beauty

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

even

included

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

men

as well

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. It was difficult to imagine that it would happen in the past, especially the generation of our parents

totally

Correct pronoun usage

who totally

show examples

can't believe it. I suppose it obviously

goes

Verb problem

became

show examples

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

popular since the internet was developing.

To begin

with, social media reach most people's daily life. A huge amount of bloggers and celebrities post a number of photos to show their sexy, beautiful and frozen age faces and bodies through ins, Facebook etc. People follow with their opinion leaders on the standard of

beauty

and seek

the

Correct article usage

show examples

way to make themselves as beautiful as they are.

Secondly

, there are many examples that show the success of young and

good looking

Add a hyphen

good-looking

show examples

influencers , who gain wealth quickly and mainly because of their images.

On the other hand

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reality, a lot of companies will employ a

nicer appearance

Correct word choice

nicer-looking

show examples

candidate rather than a

normal looking

Add a hyphen

normal-looking

show examples

one. Even they can get higher pay.

Furthermore

, nowadays, there are many extreme cases that reflect

this

unhealthy situation.

For instance

, a young girl has started

beauty

surgeries from only age

Change preposition

of 13

show examples

, and

also

girls to make it

for marrying

Change preposition

to marry

show examples

a rich guy and so on. If things continue to be extreme,

as a result

, it really harms the young generation's mental health, and no one is willing to put the effort into hard work. Of course, to be beautiful is a good wish for everybody, but

beauty

is not only from the outside

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

it could be from the inner side. A beautiful soul is more attractive and meaningful to a healthy society.

Submitted by kakafeng081 on Mon May 31 2021

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task response

Ensure that you fully address the prompt by discussing the root cause of the behavior and providing reasons and possible results as outlined in the prompt.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more logical manner with a clear introduction and conclusion. Use cohesive devices to connect your ideas and support your main points with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Proliferation
2. Adhere to
3. Celebrities and influencers
4. Discretionary spending
5. Self-esteem
6. Attractiveness
7. Technological advancements
8. High-quality products and services
9. Health consciousness
10. Holistic wellness

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some educationist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Conveninence foods will become increasingly prevalnet and eventually replace traditional foods and methods of prepration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?