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Band 5

Nowadays university education is very expensive. Some people say that universities should reduce their fees, especially for the less fortunate students or those coming from rural areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#university #education #people #universities #fees #students #areas
Nowadays, the
fees
Change the noun form
fee
show examples
 structure of higher institutes is very high and some
people
,be of the point that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
universities must decrease their cost of study for less privileged or the
students
 from rural areas .
However
, i
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
 with
this
approch
Correct your spelling
approach
.
Firstly
, education is the foundation of future goals. Mainly, higher
unversities
Correct your spelling
universities
 with the help
good
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of good
show examples
 experienced staff can create many doctors , engineers and experts in numerous fields.
Whereas
, some talented
people
 or the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who are curious about studying are unable to attend their desirable courses just
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of money . So, it is the responsibility of educational institutes to provide some extra
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
 or scholarships to the less privileged
students
 .
Moreover
 ,
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 cost of studies
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
 choose
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
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 destination
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they have to select their job unwillingly which leads them to the failure in future.
For instance
, if a student
wanted
Wrong verb form
wants
show examples
 to
enroll
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enrol
show examples
 in business management but just
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of ,the
fees
Change the noun form
fee
show examples
 structure is not affordable for them , they have to choose
diploma
Correct article usage
a diploma
show examples
 in cooking in which they do not have
Correct article usage
an interset
show examples
interset
Correct your spelling
interest
show examples
,which can result in failure.
secondly
,
people
 from rural areas ,who
wants
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want
show examples
 to study in big universities
of
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in
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city
Add an article
the city
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 have to travel a long distance
as well as
 they have to pay for their
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
. Because of all these expenses, every so often, find it hard to pay big
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
 . As institutes can provide them
free
Change preposition
with free
show examples
hostle
Correct your spelling
hostel
 to stay
or
Change preposition
in or
show examples
a free university buses
Correct the article-noun agreement
free university buses
a free university bus
show examples
 to travel.
For example
, when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was in college , our college
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 us
free
Change preposition
with free
show examples
 bus service
as well as
 free
Correct your spelling
accommodation
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 for other international
students
 In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, universities should decrease their
Correct your spelling
tuition
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
 for the less fortunate
students
as well as
people
 who are living in rural areas
Submitted by kumarashish80541 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, presenting arguments in support of reducing university fees for less privileged and rural students. The ideas are relevant and appropriate to the task.
coherence cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is generally good, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the organization within paragraphs could be improved to enhance clarity and coherence. Additionally, there is some repetition and lack of variety in linking devices, which affects the overall cohesion of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • lower-income backgrounds
  • social equity
  • student debt
  • financial liabilities
  • workforce
  • regional disparities
  • higher education
  • quality of education
  • university resources
  • government subsidies
  • scholarships
  • across-the-board
  • affordable education
  • economic benefits
  • educated workforce
  • societal challenges
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