Some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #responsibility #money #care

The

life

expectancy of the people

Change the verb form

has

show examples

have

Add the particle

tohave

show examples

increase

sginificantly

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significantly

in the

last

few decades in many countries. The

after retirement

Add a hyphen

after-retirement

show examples

era has become a special time slot of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

that filled with many adventures.

Hence

some people argue that it is a must to save for the

retirment

Correct your spelling

retirement

and the responsibility lies with the

indiviiduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

individual

to do so to enjoy the

retirment

Correct your spelling

retirement

age. In my

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opinion

opinon

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,opinon

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I am fully agreed with the aforementioned notion.

Firstly

, it is agreed that in many countries elderly care is

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a good level where the basic

requirments

Correct your spelling

requirements

requirement

such

as food and healthcare is being

coverd

Correct your spelling

covered

without an issue. Yet, there are more complex

requirments

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requirements

in other

words

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,words

show examples

extended needs and wants which governments or

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

insurance companies are not in a position to fulfil.

For instance

, in

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today's

todays

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today's

show examples

world

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,world

show examples

there are many things that

has

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have

show examples

been organized especially targeting the elderly population

such

as trips, gatherings and lots of other things.

Secondly

, being wealthy after the

retirment

Correct your spelling

retirement

would make a person independent, one would not

requir

Correct your spelling

require

required

to depend on his or her kids to accomplish the needs and wants.

Further

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,Further

show examples

it is

fustrating

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frustrating

to depend on others to

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

the needs.

Thirdly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical emergencies are more common with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

aging

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ageing

show examples

hence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money is important to get the best class treatments.

Currently

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,Currently

show examples

there are

thousnads

Correct your spelling

thousands

of retirement

shcemes

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schemes

that have been promoted by insurance companies and some of them are

copuled

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coupled

with attractive

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

at the end of the term. These schemes

are promote

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are promoted

are promoting

show examples

to very young people so that they can plan their elderly age in advance with minimum investment distributed

Change preposition

over

show examples

a longer time span. In conclusion, retirement is no longer a phase one should limit or alter his or her lifestyle.

Further

with

teh

Correct your spelling

the

life

expectancy

Add a comma

,expectancy

show examples

it would be one of the best

life

phases.

Hence

, financial stability after the

retirment

Correct your spelling

retirement

will be

benifited

Correct your spelling

benefited

from many ways and we all should save up to enjoy a better elderly

life

Submitted by harshanab on Tue Jun 01 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

331 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

A growing number of people work by telecommuting, that is, the employees works from home, using a computer and the internet to connect with the office. what are the advantages and disadvantages of working this way?

Children of ages 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing video games than before. What are the effects of this on children, family and society? What are the possible solutions to this situation

Some peole say that music is a good way of bringing people of diiferent cultures and ages to together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?