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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

children
Use synonyms
 get
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous
toys
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
 to play
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses the merits and demerits of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
having a more number of
toys
Use synonyms
 for a
child
Use synonyms
. on the one hand,some fathers and mothers buy
excess
Change the article
an excess
the excess
show examples
 number of
toys
Use synonyms
 for their
child
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is seen in
parents
Use synonyms
 because they express their love towards their
child
Use synonyms
 by gifting more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
toys
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 can have fun and joy by playing with
toys
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,it makes the kid
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
play
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 dependent on any other
child
Use synonyms
,and
also
Linking Words
 by playing with some
toys
Use synonyms
 like remote cars ,makes the
child
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
enhance his mental abilities.Most of the
children
Use synonyms
 are stressed
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of the schools,so after coming to the home,spending time with
toys
Use synonyms
 makes them stress relief.Nowadays,as obesity is seen in
children
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
,few
parents
Use synonyms
 buy
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 bicycle as a toy ,so that
child
Use synonyms
 can
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 calories.
on the other hand
Linking Words
,By gifting
toys
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
 can lead to some demerits as well.some
children
Use synonyms
 play
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of time with their
toys
Use synonyms
 which is not good for their studies.By playing with
toys
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 neglect outdoor sports which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 bad for their health. By playing with
toys
Use synonyms
continiously
Correct your spelling
continuously
,
Use synonyms
child
Correct article usage
the child
show examples
looses
Replace the word
loses
show examples
 the chance of interacting with
other
Change the wording
another child
other children
show examples
child
Use synonyms
 ,so
as a result
Linking Words
child
Use synonyms
 communication skills will be declined.To illustrate,In times Magzine it is reported that
children
Use synonyms
 who play with
toys
Use synonyms
continiously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 ,show poor speaking skills.
In addition
Linking Words
,By having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous
toys
Use synonyms
,
child
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not know the value of money.Few
parents
Use synonyms
 buy
toys
Use synonyms
 for their
child
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to not make noise and
this
Linking Words
 makes the
child
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
take advantage of it,which is not good for their
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 run. To conclude,Having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous
toys
Use synonyms
 with the
child
Use synonyms
 is very useful ,but at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 demerits should not be underestimated.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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