IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Do you think it is important for children to learn art?

#children #art
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally believed that
art
Use synonyms
 plays a fundamental role in society since artists are able to express their thoughts and culture through their work. Meanwhile, some people argue that
children
Use synonyms
 waste their time learning
arts
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
, many others,
however
Linking Words
, assert that
art
Use synonyms
 can help students to express themselves. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support of the latter view. Learning
arts
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
 is important to create a comprehensive learning environment for students.
Firstly
Linking Words
, young
children
Use synonyms
 are not good linguistically,
therefore
Linking Words
 it can be difficult to understand their mental health.
However
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 can express themselves through their paintings, sketches or writings, which makes it easier to detect their mental issues.
Additionally
Linking Words
, creative activities help
children
Use synonyms
 to deal with stress because
art
Use synonyms
 promotes harmony and other spiritual values.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a child has only science and other subjects, not related to creativity, they may be depressed by the never-ending
school
Use synonyms
 syllabus. Alternatively,
children
Use synonyms
 should not focus on
arts
Use synonyms
 at the determent of the other subjects, in order to facilitate, both mental and physical health. While it is true that
art
Use synonyms
 enriches culture, it plays little or no role in improving our lives, which means that
children
Use synonyms
 who choose
art
Use synonyms
 as their occupation may have less value for society jobs. Obviously, there are exceptions
such
Linking Words
 as talented kids, no doubt that their interests in the
arts
Use synonyms
 should be supported by parents. To sum up, I am convinced that
arts
Use synonyms
 should be in the
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum of students, the importance of which cannot be denied. It would encourage them to become creative thinkers and innovative individuals.
Thus
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 systems must strive to maintain a balance in their syllabus.
Submitted by shoira.shakirovna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: