IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #schools #student #behaviour
In several countries, students behaviour have been a problem inside the
school
 facilities.
This
 dilemma could be a product of wrong ways for parental eduction but most the
time
 it is caused by divorced
parents
, well
however
 spending more
time
 with their children will help them . ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 one of the challenging situations a
child
 could go through is divorced
parents
 .
this
 results that the
parents
 live far from each other .
This
 obstacle makes the
child
's personality unstable , results in a plunge in his social and
school
life
 , which is the number one reason for students bad behaviour in
school
.
however
 , every problem has a solution. so, in a parental divorce situation spending more
time
 and following up with the
child
 from both side
parents
 will help stabilize the
child
's personality and social
life
 which consists of
school
life
 and behaviour , a recent study proved that a
child
 that visits his divorced
parents
 equally throughout the week get better grades as
in contrast
 of the
child
 who infrequently visits his
parents
 . in conclusion , the most considerable complication a
child
 could face is his
parents
 getting a divorce
this
 severes in many problems throughout his
life
 and a solution for
this
 is the caring that gets from his
parents
, the more the better .
Parents
 should make him feel that they are not away from him and that they are here to help him and stand by his side with parental education ,
time
 ,caring and energy ,
Submitted by amerraed88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: