IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government should support old building restoration or invest in the construction of new houses and roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#government #support #restoration #construction #houses #roads
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Many
people
 believe that
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
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money
 should be spent on restoring old
buildings
, new houses, and
roads
. I personally agree with
this
 statement for the following reasons. It is important to allocate the taxpayer’s
money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 maintaining old
buildings
.
Firstly
, old
buildings
 have some special values that are unique to each culture and nation. Maintaining these building means preserving the cultural values of a country. In fact, every material used to make these building would degrade
Correct your spelling
over time
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overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
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 due to many factors
such
 as dust, chemical reactions or microbes that are present in the air.
Thus
, maintaining and restoring
buildings
 can help to prolong the lifetime of these
buildings
.
Secondly
, fixing the old
buildings
also
 contribute to
ensure
Change the verb form
ensuring
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 the safety of
people
 who comes to the building.
Old
Add an article
The old
An old
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 structure may not be safe to operate as they did in the past,
thus
, maintaining the building could help to upgrade the old structure to avoid any accidents in the future. Government should
also
 allocate the
money
 to build new houses and
roads
 to meet the demanding growth of the global population. Recent years have seen a dramatic increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 the population thanks to the advancement of technology and health care science. As the number of
people
are
Change the verb form
is
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 rising at an unprecedented rate, the demands for accommodation and transportation
also
 go up quickly. If the government do not spend
money
 on housing and
roads
, more and more
people
 will become homeless, and the street will get traffic jams more often.
As a result
, the investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 new houses and
roads
 would help to accommodate more
people
 and solve the problem of homelessness and busy traffic. In conclusion, I believe it is important for the government’s
money
 to be allocated to both old and new facilities to preserve the cultural values as well as to meet the needs of society.
Submitted by seanhai12345 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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