IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Government should support old building restoration or invest in the construction of new houses and roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
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 believe that
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
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money
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 should be spent on restoring old
buildings
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, new houses, and
roads
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. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for the following reasons. It is important to allocate the taxpayer’s
money
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on
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to
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 maintaining old
buildings
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.
Firstly
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, old
buildings
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 have some special values that are unique to each culture and nation. Maintaining these building means preserving the cultural values of a country. In fact, every material used to make these building would degrade
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over time
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overtime
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over time
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 due to many factors
such
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 as dust, chemical reactions or microbes that are present in the air.
Thus
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, maintaining and restoring
buildings
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 can help to prolong the lifetime of these
buildings
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.
Secondly
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, fixing the old
buildings
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also
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 contribute to
ensure
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ensuring
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 the safety of
people
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 who comes to the building.
Old
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The old
An old
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 structure may not be safe to operate as they did in the past,
thus
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, maintaining the building could help to upgrade the old structure to avoid any accidents in the future. Government should
also
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 allocate the
money
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 to build new houses and
roads
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 to meet the demanding growth of the global population. Recent years have seen a dramatic increase
of
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in
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 the population thanks to the advancement of technology and health care science. As the number of
people
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are
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is
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 rising at an unprecedented rate, the demands for accommodation and transportation
also
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 go up quickly. If the government do not spend
money
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 on housing and
roads
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, more and more
people
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 will become homeless, and the street will get traffic jams more often.
As a result
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, the investment
on
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in
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 new houses and
roads
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 would help to accommodate more
people
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 and solve the problem of homelessness and busy traffic. In conclusion, I believe it is important for the government’s
money
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 to be allocated to both old and new facilities to preserve the cultural values as well as to meet the needs of society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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