Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all
children
should stay at
school
until the
age
of 18.
Although
staying at
school
until adulthood can produce a
number
benefits
Change preposition
of benefits
show examples
, I personally disagree with
this
idea
for a
number
of reasons, which will be outlined in
this
essay. On the one hand, the
idea
that
children
should continue to study at
school
until the
age
of 18 does have a
number
of benefits.
Firstly
, most young people under the
age
of 18 have very little real-world experience and have very little
idea
of what career they will pursue, and
therefore
staying at
school
until the
age
of 18 will allow them
further
opportunity to develop their education and time to decide upon a suitable career path.
Furthermore
, forcing
children
to stay at
school
until 18 will create a more educated future generation of people, which may help to reduce some social and unemployment problems.
On the other hand
, there are
also
a
number
of drawbacks that
this
idea
may bring with it.
For instance
, many
children
these days do not
Correct your spelling
fit in
show examples
fit-in
Correct your spelling
fit in
show examples
with the current education system and forcing them to participate in
school
can cause many problems.
For example
, these kinds of students are usually very disruptive in a classroom and
this
affects other students who are trying to learn.
In addition
to
this
, many
children
choose to follow careers that do not require them to continue studying in
school
past the
age
of 16.
For example
, for those who wish to pursue a career that requires more practical based learning,
such
as a qualified builder, electrician or machinery operator, it is quite unnecessary to remain at
school
until the
age
of 18. In conclusion,
although
there would be a
number
of positive effects from
children
remaining at
school
until a later
age
, I personally feel that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits mentioned above.
Submitted by nguyenletrung90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: