IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In several countries,
people
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 prefer to possess their own houses and avoid renting a
house
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. It is because they have some rational
reasons
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. In my opinion,
this
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 is a positive trend for some
reasons
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 which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. The majority of
people
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 opt to have their own
house
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 for two main
reasons
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. One of the main
reasons
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 is that if they own a
house
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, they will not have to deal with the hassle of moving away and renting a new one. Finding a decent
house
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 that corresponds to their interests and Moving to a new accommodation
are
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is
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 stressful and need to be spent a lot of time and energy.
Thus
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,
people
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 would rather save more energy and time by owning a
house
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 and not undertaking
this
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 demanding situation.
Also
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, some countries struggle with high inflation and economic recession
such
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 as Iran, where the price of renting a
house
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 has been soaring annually.
Therefore
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, the majority of folks cannot afford the high rents and they think that they can save more money if they live in their own houses. I believe that owning a
house
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 outweighs renting a
house
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 as
people
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 can consider it as a valuable property, and they are free to change different parts of it.
Firstly
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, individuals who have bought a
house
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 ensure that at least they have an asset in their lives.
For instance
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, two years ago a friend of mine could get a long-term mortgage and purchase a
house
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. Recently the cost of houses has doubled so he has sold it and not only could buy a new
house
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 but
also
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 he could pay all of his debts to
bank
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the bank
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.
Secondly
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, when you are the landlord, you are free to paint walls and decorate the
house
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 on the basis of your interests. In conclusion, the advantages of being the owner of a
house
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 are far more than its disadvantages.
Due to
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this
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this,
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 you do not have to pay heavy rent each month and you can modernize it based on your own taste.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the introduction by providing a brief outline of the points that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points, ensuring they are directly relevant to the question being asked.
task achievement
Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reflects on the implications or provides a final thought, rather than introducing new information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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