Nowadays in many countries, the proportion of the older population is higher than that of younger people. Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #proportion #population #people #development

Around the world, there are multiple

people

who migrate from their own to another

country

which has resulted in an imbalance in the ratio of population. There are many countries where there are more aged

people

than young ones. According to

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

this

is a negative development and

this

essay will delve into the consequences caused by

this

Firstly

, in a

country

where there are more old

people

the scope of development will narrow down as they wouldn’t be interested in it or the government wouldn’t invest much as there would be

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

benefits.

Moreover

, it will eventually result in

bad

Add an article

a bad

the bad

show examples

economy and no availability of good or average facilities.

For instance

, if I leave my parents and move to a different

country

, I will be investing and benefiting migrated

country

not my

home land

Correct your spelling

homeland

show examples

Secondly

, in scenarios where

older

Add an article

the older

show examples

community are

Add a comma

,more

show examples

there are fewer

people

who can help them with proper care and basic needs.

Also

this

imbalance results in various medical issues

such

as depression, insomnia, etc as there are many folks who don’t have

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

any one

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

to share or talk to.

For example

, in a village in Punjab, India there were multiple cases of depression in aged

people

as there was no one they could meet or talk to. In conclusion, if there is no proper balance maintained in the ratio of old and young

people

’s population there would be an immense decrease in the economy of the

provience

Correct your spelling

province

and will eventually result in various medical issues for

older

Add an article

the older

an older

show examples

generation.

Submitted by sehgalricha54 on Wed Jun 02 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays in many countries, the proportion of the older population is higher than that of younger people. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Subtleties of banking: understanding the interdependence of depositors and borrowers.

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree of disagree?