IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #education #society #individuals #ambitions
Although
 it is believed by certain
people
 that the profound
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 educating children should be to make them beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
,others argue that
education
 should be meant for the enhancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal desires and dreams.In my opinion,I believe that the teaching of youngsters is mainly done to provide them knowledge so that in the future,they can play a crucial role in the development of the community. On the one hand, there are many reasons why some individuals say that the role of
education
 should be in
such
 a manner that it can train pupils to help the
society
 and give their
reason
 as
following
Change the form of the verb
follows
show examples
.
Firstly
,the predominant
reason
 is that the foundation of the nation lies in the hand of these proficient folks,as many of them
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 in the selfless and
voluntry
Correct your spelling
voluntary
 services.
In other words
, many doctors and engineers, those who have volunteered for the assistance of needy
people
 and are
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
 regarded by the poor
people
 as they work for the reformation and growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
For example
, many
hopitals
Correct your spelling
hospitals
 and
entreprenures
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
 have donated funds and frees services during the time of Covid-19 all around the world.
Therefore
education
 and training of various
people
 have benefitted
people
 all around the
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
.
On the other hand
,the main
reason
 given by those who advocate that the main motive of
education
 should be
Add an article
the fulfillment
a fulfillment
show examples
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 of personal goal is that students spend years of hardship,revenues and time to achieve certain ambition.In
this
 context, as they are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who dedicated all of their strength in order to achieve something which they are highly fond of,
such
 as to become a doctor, a student
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to give
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
 entrance exams and
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 year of study .Thereby,
education
 should be only formulated to complete the
people
's desire. In conclusion,whilst many
people
 vary in their opinions, I believe that
education
 should be delivered in order to help individuals living in the
society
 and that will the complete and rightful use of
such
 a boon.
Submitted by agyapalsingh83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: