Some people think that all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #lawbreakers #prison #alternatives

In a day and age, the crime rate

increases

Wrong verb form

has increased

show examples

considerably compared to the

last

decade, so

people

have different views about

all

Correct word choice

whether all

show examples

criminals should be sent to jail.

While

there are good arguments about other measures, I personally believe that it would be significantly better. There are two main reasons why it could be argued that all offenders could receive

prison

sentences.

Firstly

, imprisonment is able to exert a deterrent on potential lawbreakers, which results in a considerable drop in the crime rate in society.

Vietnam

Change preposition

In Vietnam

show examples

, where the national authorities

introduce

Wrong verb form

introduced

show examples

that policy, the percentage of law violators who engage in criminal activities

decreases

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

remarkably, which can be taken as an object lesson.

Besides

, social safety would be improved after sending criminals to

prison

because

people

who approach serious crimes

such

as murder or robbery could break peaceful lives. Despite the above arguments, I share the concern with those who believe that other better alternatives are carried out to tackle

this

problem. On the one hand, perpetrators should be sent to rehabilitation programs in order to prevent them from re-offend.

On the other hand

, they

also

should be educated by vocational training, which creates a large window of opportunities for them to study practical skills to come back to society. Particularly, criminals could learn computer skills in reformed

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

that help them to seek jobs and provide sufficient income after

prison

release. In conclusion,

although

convincing arguments

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

all lawbreakers should be imprisoned, it seems to me that

people

who commit minor crimes

such

as shoplifting and pickpocketing should be sent to rehabilitation programs and vocational training so as to give them a second chance in life. Some

people

think that all lawbreakers should be put into

prison

while

others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Submitted by phanvietha77 on Wed Jun 02 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt. Include a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both views, and a conclusion giving your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas and use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think it would be better if the whole family (uncles, aunts, and grandparents) were involved in bringing up children rather than only parents.
some people hold the view that was close relative to participate in raising children, it would be beneficial instead of only mothers and fathers. In my opinion, I tend to disagree with this approach due to children are faced with contrasting styles with their parents as well and their confidence and self-reliance levels decrease.
<4
band
In some countries, m any more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In modern times, many people are living alone compared in the past in some parts of the world. This essay discusses both its positive and negative progress on independent living.
4.5
band
Nowadays, distant-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, it is generally acknowledged that homeschooling is popular for students. Concerning this issue, some people are of the opinion that learning by online is not good for a student's education improvement. I only partly endorse this view as I believe there are some alternative ways.
<4
band
Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them.
It is often argued that people who take care of senior citizens do not have enough time for themselves. This can cause problems about one’s career and cost implication but can be solved by flexible working arrangements and the supply from government.
7
band
Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people think that the tourism experience is the most effective method for discovering another civilization, meanwhile, opponents believe that relevant documentary materials can bring the same effect on cultural understanding. I firmly agree with the former statement.

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it would be better if the whole family (uncles, aunts, and grandparents) were involved in bringing up children rather than only parents.

In some countries, m any more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, distant-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them.

Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.