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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
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 people preferred to own personal property rather than abide in
rented
Add an article
a rented
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 apartment. Living in own house gives the feeling of satisfaction and security. In my opinion, having
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
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 flat is beneficial.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, having personal property gives stability in life.
This
Linking Words
 is because when a person has his/her personal accommodation, he/she and his/her family do not have to move from one place to another, like in the case of renting.
Although
Linking Words
, dwellers have to take loan and mortgage to buy their own building. In Egypt,
for example
Linking Words
, citizens can borrow money from banks to buy their house.
Thus
Linking Words
, that might be the reason for
necessity
Add an article
the necessity
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 of residence ownership.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 an apartment is a positive situation.
Additionally
Linking Words
, personal residence not only provides comfort, but folks can
also
Linking Words
 invest their
hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
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 money in
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 manner.
Then
Linking Words
 there are cases where individuals bought
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 dwellings and paid the price in instalments by doing they invest their funds in
better
Add an article
the better
a better
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 deal as well as they have the freedom of living their lives as they want. To illustrate, when I was a tenant neither I have
authority
Correct article usage
the authority
show examples
 to move a single thing from its place to another nor capable to renovate the home.
Hence
Linking Words
, having own mansion has its clear advantages. In conclusion, the desire
of
Change preposition
for
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 stable and comfortable life is the chief consequence
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 having
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
 house rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 staying as a paying guest. I do believe that
this
Linking Words
 is beneficial as
person
Add an article
the person
a person
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 get his own shelter in return
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the investments.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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