Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?
As a matter of fact, “Money speaks anywhere”. So, a large number of
people
focus on the price of goods such
as foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
instead
of their quality
. I totally agree with this
opinion, and in the following essay, I will bring a few reasons.
The amount of money which are used to buying
Wrong verb form
buy
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
consume
a great portion of family income. Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
Consequently
, family members have to focus on the price instead
of their production processes. In fact, tight quality
control of foods
, which are made
them healthier, could increase their final prices. So, many Wrong verb form
make
people
keen
to buy Add a missing verb
are keen
foods
with reasonable prices to eliminate their hunger and get energy, but processes of them and their quality
are not located in their priorities.
The price of foods
is not the only factor Fix the agreement mistake
food
which is
Verb problem
that
influenced
Wrong verb form
influences
people
interests. Change noun form
people's
Although
affordable prices have significant effects on customers, advertisements and quality
of packaging are other important factors with a great influence on Correct article usage
the quality
people
. In other words
, many people
buy things if their eyes catch those
. It means professional advertisement with a high-Correct pronoun usage
them
quality
package, make
some Wrong verb form
making
foods
more desirable than others. So, a bunch number of people
might be persuaded to buy those foods
.
To sum up
, in my viewpoint, although
processes
of making Correct article usage
the processes
foods
are critical Fix the agreement mistake
food
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
in
human Change preposition
for
healths
, a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
health
people
have neglected it due to
economic reasons or as a result
of advertisements. These conditions may threaten public health, and in my opinion, the government have to manage both of them by social laws.Submitted by zohalinm on
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task response
Task achievement: The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth and clarity. More specific examples and in-depth analysis are needed.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The structure is somewhat logical, but the introduction and conclusion need improvement. The essay lacks clear transitional phrases between ideas and paragraphs, leading to a lack of cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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