Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #art #culture #activities #population

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It is under discussion that

money

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from the government should be allocated to the Department of

Art

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and

Culture

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Whereas

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the other opposes

this

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opinion

instead

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of spending

money

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art

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and

culture

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they should spend a good amount on other crucial matters

such

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as environmental issue and health sector. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both views.

To begin

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with, some believe that the government spends a good amount for the welfare of people and gives a good amount for

art

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and

culture

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to promote traditional values. Because it keeps the traditions alive as

culture

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is the soul of the countries and represents us throughout the world, it will boost cultural diversity.

For example

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, Eid festivals, and Christmas Day. ester are the important events and they represent our cultures if we cannot focus on

this

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they become devalued and vanish slowly. To make them live and grow it is good to spend on

this

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and enhance the beauty of

such

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traditions.

On the other hand

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, individuals think that the ministry should allot

this

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money

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to control pollution and improve the transport system.

Due to

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congestion many face difficulties reaching their destinations on time and spend

money

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on introducing electric cars so the rate of pollution control is impacting health badly mostly, folks suffer from respiratory diseases.

Secondly

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, people who suffer from

such

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conditions do not have proper hospitals to help them to cure the diseases and their condition becomes worse and

hence

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die just because of less equipment and resources in the hospital. So they must pay attention to

this

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side.

For instance

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, the people of Sindh are dying just because of a shortage of water and don't have valuable resources.

Therefore

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, it is the foremost duty of government to work for humanity. In conclusion, I believe that

money

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should be allocated to promote

culture

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and

art

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as it plays a significant role in making the community strong and united so it needs financial support.

However

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, factors must be taken into consideration

such

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as environmental issues and health to keep societies healthy and fit from all diseases.

Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on Fri May 31 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction provides a good overview of the debate, but the thesis statement could be more clear. Clearly state which side you support in the introduction to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Some of your sentences are a bit convoluted and could benefit from more straightforward language to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Your essay could use more detailed and varied examples to fully support your points. Try to provide specific instances or data where possible.

coherence cohesion

Work on refining transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother flow of ideas. This will help with overall cohesion and coherence of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Sometimes the vocabulary and grammar slips make it a bit harder to understand some points. Keep sentences straightforward and avoid too many complex structures in one sentence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the conclusion does not only restate but also subtly synthesizes your main points to offer a final perspective.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion does restate the main points of the essay and provides a personal viewpoint, which is good for wrapping up.

task achievement

You’ve addressed both sides of the argument and provided points for each, which shows a thorough approach to the task.

task achievement

The essay covers important areas like health care and cultural events, showing a balanced approach.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Some people think the government funding should not be used for supporting art and culture, while others think supporting cultural activities may be beneficial for the population and the culture. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.