IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home
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In recent time, the need to keep guns at home is an issue all over the world. Nowadays, it is believed by some that public shootings are increasing, as easy to purchase a
firearm
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. It is my opinion, every
firearm
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 license should include
serious
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a serious
show examples
psyhology
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psychology
test
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,
authority
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the authority
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 should tighten up legislation, and
government
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 should focus on
illigal
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illegal
gun
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 possession.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if someone doing a
firearm
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test
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,
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psychologist
psychologists
psyhologist
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a psyhologist
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 should do a proper interview with the
condidates
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candidates
 and it could reduce
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 chance of
missuse
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misuse
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the future
gun
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 owner may have some mental problems, which would not
been
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be
show examples
 prevented with
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 minutes
interview
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of interview
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 and as a
resoult
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result
psyhology
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psychology
test
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 could save some
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lives
life
lifes
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lives
show examples
.
Secondly
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,
authority
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the authority
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 should restrict lowes, which could reduce the chance of
gun
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missuses
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misuses
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the lowe should say where and how the owners have to store their guns at their home,
therefore
Linking Words
 people who
is
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are
show examples
 not authorised for using a
gun
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would not have
eccess
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access
for
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to
show examples
 it due to laws.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
government
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agencyes
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agencies
 should focus on
black
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the black
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 market, as people could have a decent
gun
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 collection, even though they do not have any licenses for it.
This
Linking Words
 could be a potential danger, as these people may use it in an inappropriate way.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a serious issue, which should be maintained by the
government
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. In conclusion,
firearm
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 permit tests should include a proper
psyhology
Correct your spelling
psychology
test
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,
authority
Add an article
the authority
show examples
 should restrict
gun
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 lows, and
government
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 should pay more attention
on
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to
show examples
illegal
Add an article
the illegal
show examples
gun
Use synonyms
 market.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my opinion that
government
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 should ban
gun
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their country.
Submitted by davidwillphone on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gun ownership
  • shootings
  • increase
  • home
  • agree
  • disagree
  • impact
  • widespread
  • access
  • firearms
  • psychological
  • potential
  • statistics
  • examples
  • frequent
  • responsible
  • regulations
  • misuse
  • inequality
  • mental health
  • crime rates
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