Many People believe that the increased presence of violence in film and Television these days is responsible for the rising incidents of violent crime among youths in society. They argue that government have a duty to control the media so as to reduce this phenomenon. Do you agree with this argument?

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Nowadays, big screens and small screens are much accessible to the public as cable subscriptions and the amount of going to the movie theatres can be very reasonable. Due to globalization, a person living in Asia can view films created by Americans or Australians. Generally, some small-screen series can feature cruel titles and scenes which can be accessed by anybody, including the youngsters on television and the internet. Without adult supervision, watching

this

kind of themes can be very influential to some youths. It can lead to them getting the wrong message, that it is ok to apply what they have seen to their daily lives. For

instnce

Correct your spelling

instance

, examples of crimes that they have viewed might be

about

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apply

show examples

murder, robbery, kidnapping, rape and drug abuse.

Therefore

, while others agree that one country's administration should regulate the cinema industry and its content, others oppose

this

idea. In my opinion, I contest that one's government should manipulate the film and television industry. It is the responsibility of the producers and creators to filter their content and identify their audience.

Also

, the youth's actions should not only depend on the influence of social media, but it should go back to their upbringing, values, and principles they live by. In conclusion, what we observe on the big and small screens should just raise awareness and serve as entertainment. The youngsters should be guided by the adults on the kind of films they view and explain the reasons behind the rage and misdemeanours that the actors portray in the movies.

Submitted by ccdinio on Sat Jun 05 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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Fewer and Fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons, is this positive or negative development?

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