IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many office authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions on this?

#office #authorities #restriction #premises #governments #places #idea #freedom
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since
Change preposition
In
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Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 several decades
interesting
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an interesting
the interesting
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 number of people are becoming restricted to smoking, which has
may
Correct your spelling
many
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 health hazards. Strict laws on smoking
has
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have
show examples
 been implemented by working corporates and many
ineconomies
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economies
in economies
 around
globe
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the globe
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is indeed
Correct article usage
an affective
show examples
Correct your spelling
effective
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affective
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effective
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 measure to curb smoking but some people
aruge
Correct your spelling
argue
thus
Linking Words
 it, takes away some of their
freedom
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay II with discuss my point of which on
this
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 issue and draws a logical conclusion in the end. To embark with, smoking at
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 palace is banned which is a good decision.
Althoigh
Correct your spelling
Although
 some
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 believe that
this
Linking Words
 law takes their
freedom
Use synonyms
 away.
Inspote
Correct your spelling
In spite
 of, thinking about
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
 they should give
first
Linking Words
 priority to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
saftey
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safety
.
For instance
Linking Words
, If a person smokes
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a gas station, everyone knows fuel
cathes
Correct your spelling
catches
 fire in
Correct article usage
a friction
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friction
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fraction
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 of
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second
Correct article usage
a second
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, owing to
this
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, knowing at public places are
defenitely
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definitely
 create fatal
cuccifents
Correct your spelling
accidents
.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
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 prohibition of smoking
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public places
shouls
Correct your spelling
should
 be compulsory. Stating
it
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 someone breaks
this
Linking Words
 law
then
Linking Words
 there should be high penalties.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, As far as public
freedom
Use synonyms
 is concerned,there is
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
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 their worry. In every working
place
Add a comma
,place
show examples
 there should be a
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 place for smoking,
governmenrs
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should
also
Linking Words
 follow the same tendency. Another solution is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should impose
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
 ban on
selling
Correct article usage
the selling
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 of purchase tobacco products as it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many health issues for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
ban
Add an article
a ban
the ban
show examples
 on smoking is
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 law because we should not make someone lite at state due to our personal hobbies.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, there are some potential solutions when are mentioned above to stop
this
Linking Words
 habit of people.
Submitted by Shaunak Desai on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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