IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #focus #pollution #illness #disease
It is true that to tackle the problem of illness and diseases produced by environmental pollution and housing problems ministry should focus
on
Correct pronoun usage
iton
show examples
. I firmly agree with
this
 statement
rule
Add an article
the rule
show examples
 should take care of increasing environmental pollutions day by day. The principal benefit is our society will stay healthy if there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no air pollution people those who are having asthma can
easy
Change the adjective
easily
show examples
 cure themself. Secondarily,Our environmental cycle will be balanced with taking strike actions by the
government
.
For instance
, the
government
 should make a law against cutting trees and hunting animals because they play an important role in our environmental cycle by giving us fresh oxygen.
furthermore
, Some people cut trees and greenery for their personal benefits.
For example
, nowadays farmers are selling their land to colonizers to make residential colonies to fend of
this
government
 should make apartment buildings to give shelters to many people in one shed.
In addition
, the
government
 should separate the residential area from the industrial area by which pollution coming from the industries will not effects human health that much. In conclusion,there are so many steps that
government
 should take to prevents
this
 problem in
positive
Add an article
a positive
the positive
show examples
 result. it can be tackled with the collaborative efforts of
government
 and individuals.
Submitted by pinderkalsi95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: