IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries, as people are earning more these days, they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #money #items #development
In
this
 modern
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
 everyone strives to lead a
sophesticated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
life
.
This
 includes living an
extravagent
Correct your spelling
extravagant
 lifestyle and buying products that are more than essentials. A group of
people
 feel that every extra penny spent from their pockets is someone else's.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the rest contend to
this
 fact,saying if you are capable enough to earn and spend
then
 you should not feel guilty about it. I am compelled to accept that both these statements are equally true. Some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 follow the quote 'Live
life
 like a king' and they work hard, leaving their families and relationships behind.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 they spend all their earnings on expensive items like cars and modern houses.In
reality
Add a comma
,reality
show examples
 there are
people
 who buy varieties of
jewelleries
Change the wording
jewellery
pieces of jewellery
show examples
, clothes even
Correct your spelling
furniture
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
 out of fascination when these are just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic need in
life
. To exemplify
this
 a recently popular news stated that
a young businessmen
Correct the article-noun agreement
young businessmen
a young businessman
show examples
 in Japan had purchased 23 models of Audi at once because he liked cars. Though
this
 seems a show off to the outsiders, there are humans who get inspired to live
such
 a
life
. Sometimes
people
Correct your spelling
backbite
show examples
back bite
Correct your spelling
backbite
show examples
 and complain
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 rich out of jealousy. Contrastingly, there is another group of
people
 who wisely spend the
money
 they earn. They invest their
money
 in fixed deposits,
reccuring
Correct your spelling
recurring
 deposits even in real estates. Saving
money
 gives them
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
hope and belief that their future has been taken care of. Some
people
 are contended by donating
money
 to the needy in the form of school supplies, food and clothes. Since they do not focus on earning more than what is required and do not spend
money
 lavishly
physchologists
Correct your spelling
psychologists
 say that these
people
 are more likely to be attached to their families and would better in relationships. To conclude, I think
people
 have their own reasons to be who they are. Sometimes it is the inability of not having something, that makes us
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not value it when present in abundance.
Submitted by ramyamahatma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!