Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Although
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a number of individuals
believed
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believe
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youngsters should be penalized for their wrong behaviour, others are of contrary opinion.In my opinion, I agree with the view that they should be disciplined for bad attitudes as
this
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will help to instil good attitude into them and
also
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make them change speedily On the one hand , a reasonable number of individuals believe that rewards and
praises
Fix the agreement mistake
praise
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are more beneficial. They believe
this
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will motivate them to deviate from bad acts rather than when children are being punished. Moreso, they think
youngster
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youngsters
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that are rewarded perform better in a given task than those that are scolded .
For example
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,
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in A
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A
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apply
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research that was carried out in a primary school in Lagos ,it was reported that 80% of juveniles that were appreciated were outstanding in their performances as opposed to those that were punished.
However
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, despite the
benefits
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benefits,
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I completely disagree with
this
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view, as it is not an effective method of discipline
On the other hand
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, some people think and I agree that young ones should be admonished for wrong deeds .
This
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is because by doing so,it will instil discipline into them .
In other words
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, they will be able to differentiate between right and wrong behaviour and make them desist from negative deeds.
For instance
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, A recent report in
magazine
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a magazine
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stated that 70% of youngsters scolded for behaving wrongly always have a change of attitude so that they
wont
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won't
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be reprimanded again .
In addition
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, if kids are given punishment they will adopt good manners at a very fast speed other than rewarding them .
Therefore
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, young children should be penalized for their incorrect ways in order to make them adopt good habits. In conclusion, some individuals believe that young ones should be disciplined for their bad manners
while
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others feel they should rather be acknowledged .In my opinion, I totally agree with the view that they should be rebuked for their
grevious
Correct your spelling
grievous
previous
actions as
this
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will make them deviate from wrong ways and learn positive attitude quickly.
Submitted by Abiodun on

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Task achievement
The essay does not fully address the task prompt or develop ideas coherently, and examples are not always relevant. The introduction and conclusion are present, but need improvement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure needs improvement, and the use of cohesive devices is inconsistent. The essay lacks coherence and could benefit from better organization of ideas.
Lexical resource
The essay shows a limited range of vocabulary and lacks variety in expression. There are also instances of inappropriate word choices and collocations. Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate language.
Grammatical range
There are frequent grammar errors throughout the essay, including verb tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Aim for greater accuracy in grammar and develop more complex sentence structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • reward
  • reinforcement
  • discipline
  • boundary
  • behavior
  • self-esteem
  • motivation
  • intrinsic
  • consequence
  • fear
  • anxiety
  • resentment
  • positive learning environment
  • balanced approach
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