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Band 6

More and more people are leaving the countryside and moving to cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages.

#people #countryside #cities #trend
Nowadays a growing number of
people
 move away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural
areas
 to reside in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
 .Admittedly , the demerit of
vast
Change the article
a vast
the vast
show examples
 number of individuals migrating to the metropolitan is that it can result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 in agricultural production.
However
 ,despite the fact it can lead to low farm produce , there are tremendous
advantages
 of job
opportunities
 and brighter future prospects for the children in the city centre
To begin
 with, one of the demerits of
people
 moving away from the rural area to live in the metropolitan is that there is productivity from the farm is decline.
This
 is because there are limited labourers to carry out farming activities like plant and cultivate crops and
also
 rear animals for human consumption, which in turn might result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 famine because there will be
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in food produced.To illustrate
this
, a recent report in a Newspaper in 2020 stated that the amount of food harvested in a certain local community has drastically reduced because there
are
Change the verb form
is
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limited
Change the article
a limited
the limited
show examples
 number of
people
 to perform the farming activities.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 despite
this
 disadvantage, there are enormous merits of employment purposes for
people
 in the urban
areas
. One of the
advantages
 of residing in the city centres is that there are
opportunities
 to do different kinds of jobs
This
 is because there are different companies and organisation where
people
 can work and earn a living for themselves and other family members.
A recent
Remove the article
Recent
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 research in
a
Change the article
an
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 Adelaide Company in
lagos
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Lagos
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 showed that 80% of their workers are from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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remote
areas
.
In addition
, residing in the urban
areas
 will result in
brighter
Correct article usage
a brighter
show examples
Replace the word
prospects
show examples
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
 for the young ones as they will access to good education and other social amenities. From the aforementioned example, it is apparent that working in urban
areas
 has
a tremendous
Correct the article-noun agreement
a tremendous advantage
tremendous advantages
show examples
advantages
 of employment
opportunities
 and it far outweighs the disadvantage it could bring. In conclusion,
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
I lot
 of individuals move away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
 to reside in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
 .In my opinion, the
advantages
 of migrating into the metropolitans
supercede
Correct your spelling
supersede
 the disadvantages due to the fact that there are
opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 better employment and good living for the children in the city centre
Submitted by ayodam90 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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